Poop scoopin boogie

[bouche]

This guy is sitting in a bar drunk, he asks the bartender where's the bathroom at? The bartender said, go down the hall & make a right. Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hears this loud scream and wonders what is going on in the bathroom. A few

minutes go by again and everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that came out

of the bathroom again. This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He opened the door and asked the drunk, "What's all the screaming about

in here? You are scaring all my customers away." The drunk said, "I'm sitting on the

toilet and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes

the hell out of my balls." With that, the bartender opens up the door and looks in and says, "No wonder, you're sitting on a mop bucket!!!"

[h]

Little Johnny is sitting in his math class when his good looking female teacher asks him, 'If three birds are sitting on a telephone wire,and a hunter comes along and shoots one of the birds, how many birds are left?

'Johnny answers, 'None.'

The teacher says, 'No Johnny, that's wrong. If there are three birds, and the hunter shoots one, how many are left?'

'None.'

'No Johnny, that's wrong! How do you figure?'

Johnny explains, 'When the hunter shoots his gun, the birds fly away, so there are none left.'

'Oh, I see. Well that's not the answer that I was looking for, but I like the way you're thinking,' she says.

Johnny starts in, 'Well, ok then. I have a question for you. Three women are sitting on a curb eating popsicles. The first one is licking her popsicle, the second is sucking her popsicle, and the third is biting her popsicle. Which one of the women is married?'

The teacher stammers, 'Well, let me see. I guess the one who is sucking her popsickle?'

'No, actually it's the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you're thinking.'