Ms.Huxtable Posted June 5, 2002 Report Share Posted June 5, 2002 An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you. "Yes," she says, "I remember it well." "OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll 'round there again and we can do it for old time's sake. " Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers. There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see this two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers. She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes! She's yelling, "Ohhhh, God!" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. Feeling he has learned something about life that he didn't know. After about half and hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, still watching thinks, 'That was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is. As the couple pass, he says to them, "That was something else, you must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?" "No, there's no secret," the old man says, "Fifty years ago that damn fence wasn't electric." Now you...it's hump day so make 'em good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freak By Night Posted June 5, 2002 Report Share Posted June 5, 2002 A horse comes up to the bar. The bartender says: "Hey buddy, why the long face?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted June 5, 2002 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2002 Okay, so this isn't a joke but I found it quite amusing.... Titled "Singles Ad" "SBF( single, black, female) Seeks Male companionship. Age and ethnicity unimportant. I'm a young, svelte good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting/camping/fishing trips. I love cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours." Call 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy. (The phone number was the Humane Society and Daisy was an eight week old black Labrador Retriever. They received 643 calls in two days.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freak By Night Posted June 5, 2002 Report Share Posted June 5, 2002 Subject: Stock Tip Pfizer Corp. (PFE) is making the announcement today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola (PEP) as a power beverage suitable for use as-is or as a mixer, under the name "Mount and Do." Pepsi's proposed ad campaign suggests: "It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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