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its a hard world,even harder when youre dumb.


puddles

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> >The following questions and answers were collated from SAT tests given

> >in

> > >Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh -

> >one

> > >of these may be president someday.)

> > >

> > >Q: Name the four seasons.

> > >A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

> > >

> > >Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to

> >drink.

> > >A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large

> >pollutants

> > >like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

> > >

> > >Q: How is dew formed?

> > >A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

> > >

> > >Q: What is a planet?

> > >A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

> > >

> > >

> > >Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

> > >A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water

> >tends

> > >to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and

> >nature

> > >abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

> > >

> > >Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?

> > >A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

> > >

> > >Q: What are steroids?

> > >A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

> > >

> > >Q: What happens to your body as you age?

> > >A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

> > >

> > >Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

> > >A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

> > >

> > >

> > >Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

> > >A: Premature death.

> > >

> > >

> > >Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

> > >A: Keep it in the cow.

> > >

> > >

> > >Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.) A:

> >The

> > >body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the

> > >abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains

the

> > >heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,

E,

> >I,

> > >O and U.

> > >

> > >Q: What is the Fibula?

> > >A: A small lie.

> > >

> > >Q: What does "varicose" mean?

> > >A: Nearby.

> > >

> > >Q: What is the most common form of birth control?

> > >A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

> > >

> > >

> > >Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."

> > >A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

> > >

> > >

> > >Q: What is a seizure?

> > >A: A Roman emperor.

> > >

> > >Q: What is a terminal illness?

> > >A: When you are sick at the airport

> > >

> > >

> > >Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

> > >A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like

> > >umbrellas.

> > >

> > >

> > >Q: What does the word "benign" mean?

> > >A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

> > >

> > >Q: What is a turbine?

> > >A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

> > >

> > >Q: What is a Hindu?

> > >A: It lays eggs.

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