puddles Posted July 26, 2002 Report Share Posted July 26, 2002 The Shirt Lets face it...nothing says "I have arrived" like a Cameltoe T-Shirt. If you are a woman, guys will see your knowthetoe™ shirt, and instantly realize that, unlike your friends, you have a great sense of humor and joie de vivre. If you are a guy, women will see you in this shirt and recognize that you are a connoisseur of the finer things in life...a man not afraid to stop and appreciate a beautiful sunset...a man with a sense of aesthetics. Or they might think you are a jackass. But at least they will notice you. What you do with the opportunity is really up to you. These shirts are quality Beefy T's. 100% cotton, not that crap 50/50 polyester blend that clings to your nipples. They are white, like Regis Philbin. Sizes are the usual: M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL. They run pretty big. Buy lots. $17.95 Medium SuperToe T-Shirt Large SuperToe T-Shirt X-Large SuperToe T-Shirt $18.95 XX-Large SuperToe T-Shirt XXX-Large SuperToe T-Shirt The SuperToe Tee Due to the lack of web address or any other identifying information, this T-Shirt is all things to all people. If you are a proud Toe fan, the bright orange logo will shout out to the world that you are a fashion vanguard. But if you are more of a closet Toe fan, you can wear this shirt, knowing that true fans will recognize the logo and think you are cool. Meanwhile, if your wife, boss, or other person whose ass you kiss asks you what the logo stands for, you can mumble something about it being the logo of a new snowboarding company (you little simp). So this is the ultimate shirt to wear to your corporate picnic this summer. But mostly, this shirt reflects just how far we have come as a brand. The Toe symbol is now on par with the Nike swoosh. No words are necessary. As usual, this is 100% cotton. The shirt is blue and orange, like the crotchless vinyl jumpsuit your local Catholic priest wears when no-one is looking. Buy lots. $19.95 The Cap The Cap The top 10 reasons to own this cap: 1) You want to meet cool people. 2) You want to piss off your parents. 3) You think you look good in hats (you do in ours). 4) You are bald, but cant afford Rogaine. 5) You like the way your mullet fans out with a hat. 6) You live in Seattle and it rains every f-ing day. 7) You want to cover the 6-6-6 tattoo on your scalp. 8) You have always wanted an orange bush on your 4head. 9) You dont want to look like Greta Van Scalpel. 10)You have enough fake NYFD hats. The hat is blue with orange writing. If you cant get laid wearing this hat, then you are just like me. Cause I have been wearing it for the last month, and I buy my Vaseline at Costco. One size fits all. Buy lots. $14.95 Size 1 (Bikini style only) Size 2 (Hot Pants style only) The Hot Pants You just knew we would make panties, didn't you? These panties speak volumes about the woman that wears them. They say, "Look at my ass....go ahead...the writing is there for a reason." They also provide women with a glow-in-the-dark cameltoe without the unpleasant hoo-hoo wedgie. These make a great gift idea for the guy that is looking to test how uptight his girlfriend is. If she opens the box and laughs, she is a keeper. Marry her. If she scowls and says "sometimes I don't even know who you are", then you are better off without her. She will end up alone on a couch with her cat watching Oprah and eating Weight Watchers ice cream. These panties are cotton. They are white, like Katie Couric. They come in 2 sizes. Size 1 fits women who wear dress sizes 0-8. Size 2 fits women who wear dress sizes 8-14. Buy lots. $16.95 Medium Boxers Large Boxers X-Large Boxers The Boxers If you are like me, and you have washboard abs...you will look great in these boxers. I like to let my jeans get a little baggy. That way, they sag down, showing the knowthetoe™ waistband. Women try to read the waistband, and cannot help but become fixated on your region. I find myself turning down sex with hot strangers on a regular basis. Or, if you are like some of my friends, and have what Boston guys call a "wicked huge joe", these boxers will distract women from noticing your girth. As you can see, they are cotton (noticing the trend?). They are white, like Michael Jackson, with grey waistband. The sizes are as follows: M (32-34), L (36-38) and XL (40-42). They are generously cut to accomodate the enormous manhood of the average Cameltoe fan. Buy lots. $2.95 Round Sticker The Round Sticker You will be the envy of the skatepark with your cameltoe.org skateboard sticker. While the rest of the clowns cling to old-school schtick like the Descendents and the DKs, you are on the bleeding edge. When they ask you about Cameltoe.org, you will simply say, "The funniest site on the web. Recognize, beeotch" The sticker is blue and orange, like the fungus on your shower curtain. Buy lots. $2.95 Bumper Sticker The Bumper Sticker This Bumper Sticker is the best revenge on all the cliche bumper stickers out there. Every time you see a "Shit Happens" or "Think Globally, Act Locally" or "Visualize World Peace" or "My brown-nosing little kid is marginally smarter than the other morons at Kennedy Elementary", you will feel great inner peace, knowing that your car is not a moving billboard, advertising your mediocrity. Policemen driving behind you will be so busy discussing your obvious good taste in websites, that they will not notice your expired registration, or broken taillight. The sticker is cotton....just seeing if you were paying attention. It is white, like the entire population of Maine. It only comes in one size. Buy lots. Questions? Have a suggestion for future products? We'd love to know! Send us an e-mail at toegear@cameltoe.org No returns...sorry. U.S. orders only. Please allow 3-4 weeks for delivery. It will come! Please be patient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PassedOutGuy Posted July 26, 2002 Report Share Posted July 26, 2002 what the fuck is going on around here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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