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Hippie Very Involved In Hippie Non-Sports


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Tell me to stop posting these any time! More from The Onion :

Hippie Very Involved In Hippie Non-Sports

AUSTIN, TX—According to acquaintances of the 22-year-old hippie, Chad Beresford is a frequent participant in hacky sack, frisbee, and other hippie non-sports. "Chad's way into all that stuff: juggling, devil sticks, and yo-yo tricks," friend Aimee Kolkos said Tuesday. "From stilt-walking to unicycling, there isn't a non-competitive, stoner-friendly quasi-non-sport he hasn't tried."

Teen Anxious For Cigarette Addiction To Kick In

EVANSVILLE, IN—Ashleigh Davis, 14, who started smoking three weeks ago, "can't wait" for her cigarette addiction to kick in. "Right now, I'm smoking, like, four or five cigarettes a day, but I definitely don't feel like I'm hooked yet," Davis said Tuesday. "That's gonna be so cool when the nicotine kicks in, and I have to, like, sneak out of restaurants and stuff for a fix."

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