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Tasteless Jokes


Jimmy_Milbury_Esq
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A pedophile and a small girl are walking through the forest together one evening. As it started to get dark, the girl turns to the man and says "I'm scared"

"You're scared?" he replies, "I'm the one that has to walk out of here in the dark all by myself."

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There were three little old ladies sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

The first lady immediately had a stroke.

Then the second lady also had a stroke.

But the third lady, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

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a child with abusive parents is before the courts regarding his custody placement.

the judge asks, "would you like to live with your mom?"

"no", the little boy replies, "she beats me."

"well, would you like to live with your dad?"

"no" says the little boy, "he beats me even worse"

"hmmm" says the judge. "who would you like to live with?"

"i wanna live with the toronto maple leafs" says the little boy.

"the toronto maple leafs?" asks the judge, confused, "why do you want to live with them?"

"because they don't beat anybody!"

heh heh!

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A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents

tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but

to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a

family friend, they decided to enroll their son

in a private Catholic school.

After the first day, the boy's parents were

surprised when he walked in after school with

a stern, focused and very determined expression

on his face, and went right past them straight

to his room, where he quietly closed the door.

For nearly two hours he toiled away in his

room - with math books strewn about his desk

and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough

to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate,

went straight back to his room, closed the door,

and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime.

This pattern continued ceaselessly until it

was time for the first quarter report card. The

boy walked in with his report card -- unopened

-- laid it on the dinner table and went straight

to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it,

and to her amazement, she saw a bright red "A"

under the subject of MATH.

Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into

their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable

progress. "Was it the nuns that did it?," the

father asked. The boy only shook his head and

said, "No."

"Was it the one-on-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?"

"No."

"The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?"

"Nope," said the son. "On that first day, when

I walked in the front door and saw that guy they

nailed to the 'plus sign,' I just knew they meant

business!"

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