thatpatguy Posted August 25, 2004 Report Share Posted August 25, 2004 just got this in the email.. found it funny.. thought I'd share it here: GOP Convention Schedule 6:00pm - Opening prayer 6:15pm - Supplemental opening prayer 6:30pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers 6:45pm - New energy policy presented by Exxon 7:00pm - Canonization of Reagan 7:15pm - Additional prayers 7:30pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton 8:00pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken "Kenny-boy" Lay 8:15pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton 8:30pm - Stoning of the first homosexual 8:45pm - New healthcare polices presented by HMO leader, Kaiser Permanente 9:00pm - Invasion of Iran or North Korea (TBA) 9:15pm - Halliburton contributes $1.4 billion to Republican party 9:30pm - Reagan elevated to savior, Holy Trinity now referred to as "The Quads" 9:45pm - Bush undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Reagan 10:00pm - Cheney runs into Ron Reagan, Jr. Tells him to go fu©k himself 10:15pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea (Bush: "Damn, the SOUTH is our ally. My bad.") 10:30pm - Burning at the stake of 16 year-old Jenny Williams, who had an illegal abortion after being raped by her cousin 10:45pm - Dancing around the golden calf 11:00pm - Stoning of the partner of the first homosexual 11:15pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyerhaeuser 11:45pm - Thanking God for his wisdom in choosing Bush as president 12:00pm - Closing prayers (lasting until 2:00am) 2:00 am - Hookers arrive for all delegates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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