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Craziest Thing You Ever Saw At Work


Douglas

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(sorry to steal your Subject Zero, but it fits so well)

So I get a service desk call today, and it reads...

"Can you please come remove the moon icon off my bar? It's my daily horoscope, but I'm not superstitious so please take it off because I think it's demonic."

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The "craziest" thing I saw at work was not amusing in the least. As I looked out my window of my office I saw three scumbags chasing a grouse around Whistler and throwing rocks at it. (For those of you unaware, grouses are big, fat, stupid, friendly, waddling birds.) I went outside and had a word with these young lads. One of them (about 6 foot 4 I might add) did not take kindly to my instructions that he will leave the grouse alone and get out of my sight. He explained that he planned to grab the bird by its wings and put his foot on the bird and pull the wings off, tortuously killing the bird. This would then afford him a tasty dinner. I had a few things to say about that as well. In the end, after I made it clear that I was prepared to go to great lengths to protect the poor bird, the tall-scumbag saw the light and left.

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I used to do door to door fundraising for a charity, and we would meet in a coffee shop, then walk out to turf together. I'm working with this guy one night, and we'd made it maybe a block away from the coffee shop when he says "wait!" He bends down, and picks up a big fat joint off the sidewalk. We don't know where it came from, and I have no idea how he spotted it. But he says it was pretty good....

Maybe a week later, I knock on a door, wait a bit, eventually the door opens, and a couple probably in their 80's are standing there. With thick pot smoke wafting out the door. It smelled good, and stoned 80 year olds are pretty crazy.

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At one company where I worked, somebody had an idea for a promotion of something (we never figured out what) that involved placing an individual-serving box of Froot Loops on everybody's desk. This evoked a nearly universal "Huh?" reaction from everybody. Some ate the Loops, some threw them out, and then somebody came up with a truly good idea: they were collected for the food bank.

Aloha,

Brad

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i'm just remembering alot of crazy things that used to happen at Toys R Us.

whoa!

One day, I printed up a sign that said "KICK ME" and I covertly applied it to the back of the store director (big name for a small time job). It was on his back for a good hour until he got wind of it.

Not much time passed before he gathered up most of the employees on the floor that day and had them basically kidnap me. I put up a good fight, however, it wasn't enough to ward off 12-15 highschoolers from forcing me onto one of those foldable steel chairs.

They proceeded to wrap me up with heavy duty shipping wrap paper, which is just gigantic sized super stron saran wrap. Our very gay-but-married Director Deiter (deetor), then comes to the store room, with an evil smurk, carrying a new sign that he made that said "Hi, My name is Mike and it's my birthday" and stuck it on my chest.

That's when a few of the stonger fackers picked up the chair, and paraded me around the store while customers pointed and laughed. They dropped me off outside of the entrance and left me there for about 15 minutes.

I learned to never screw with someone who has the power to fire all of the staff that don't come onto his/her side.

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I used to work in the cd and video game section at best buy. one day a man came in and asked me and a co-worker if we could recomend some music that would be used in his porno video. Apperently he just finished directing his first porno and needed some background music for it. Our store staff couldnt stop lauging about when they heard the news ::

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HAHAHA

That was great Bouche, you were really pissed too and were swinging at people. It's a good thing none of those haymakers landed. You would have hurt your hand.

I remember once at Toys R Us Booche getting dummied by a co-op student. One of my favorite memories, Oh and the time he tripped over a box. I can;t even begin to explain that one. ::

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Getting dummied was embarrasing, but that bike box adventure was nothing short of a spectacular spill. Badams, you had the best view possible, but be careful. I have a MILLION stories on ya pal.

Suffice to say, I think your one half-assed jumping jack after a SEVERELY hung-over shift was one of the nuttiest things I have witnessed. He smelled worse than Barrett on pay-day, and this was the morning following a big night out for him (which, at the time, happened 3 work nights a week). Anyways, this was more of a hangover than I had ever seen by him, and I did my best to get him to do a jumping jack at every moment I thought of one.

He didnt do one until 5 minutes before we left for the day, yet he still couldnt do one.

(well, that doesnt read as good as it looked)

I am willing to bet that Lisa (cant remember her last name) would write that the craziest thing she ever smelled was Brad and I, the morning after Canada had lost to the Czec's in Japan.

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I used to work in the cd and video game section at best buy. one day a man came in and asked me and a co-worker if we could recomend some music that would be used in his porno video. Apperently he just finished directing his first porno and needed some background music for it. Our store staff couldnt stop lauging about when they heard the news ::

What did you recommend?

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one time a customer asked to use the bathroom. we usualy don;t let customers use the bathrooms but he was older so I figured why not? so he uses the bathroom and leaves the store. I got to the back room again and walk by the bathroom. When I walked by I saw that the floor was covered in blood. and I mean covered. I ran out to see what was wrong with the guy but he was nowhere to be found. to this day I have no idea what happened in there but it was a, sorry about the pun, a bloody mess.

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We had a similar bathroom experience once. We normally don't let customers use the bathroom but one guy seemed innocent enough so we let him. The next day the whole store was flooded left and right. Turns out the dude flushed all this jewellery down the toilet. rings, bracelets and sh!t. It clogged the toilet and it was a sh!tty mess, pun intended. weird, weird stuff.

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Firstly, Canada lost.

That's right folks, Badams had to turn on Sportsdesk after his one hours worth of sleep, because he didnt remember who had won.

Secondly, I think you want to remind Bouche of Mr Big. I think he still has the picture.

Thirdly, I still SWEAR that was your underwear left in the mens bathroom after you had sharted yourself.

(By the way, nice to see you back again. I have missed your memories of our drunken excursions.)

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One time I was teaching a guy a guitar lesson and he had a siezure right there in the room. He stopped in the middle of a sentance and his face started to contort...I saved the guitars and just about caught him before he hit the floor, writhing and frothing.

It was my first (and only) time witnessing a siezure. Very frightening, to say the least.

FYI: Don't put something in their mouth, don't worry about the tongue-swallowing stuff, just try and protect their head with pillows and stuff. And stay calm.

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