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Thank you God for giving us the AMAs's


Alexis
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Oh dear sweet lord.....what's funnier than a new episode of the simpson's? the American Music Awards. I'll recap things so far.

Gwen Steffani opening with her new song (that i actually do like). Nothing better than a 30 year old campy hoochy singing a campy song about herself where she calls herself a stupid ho.

Lenny Kravitz singing his gap commercial song, and me thinking that chick from sex in the city is going to pop out at any moment to do her little dance

Jimmy Kimmel making some baaaad jokes

Diana Ross reading off a speach that seems like it was written by Bush's speech writers...it just didn't make sense...

Usher beating prince in the r&b category. Whatever happened to respect for the legends?

Kelly osbourne and nick lache announcing the pop/rock duo/band/group and getting precisely 45 seconds to do their entire schpeel, intro, and the winner is....blah blah, 45 seconds.

Jessica Simpson looking like she was having a seizure while she sat at the edge of the stage and sang a song so old it had mold growing on it.

Uncle Cracker's greasy nasty hair and the singer of the country group he was singing with wearing a tie dye T-shirt with the sleeves cut off ala kung or hux

Anna nicole's new slimmed down body, with her big old knockers...oh my god she's sooooo drunk she's slurring so much, why did they let her come out alone.

konye west's work out song with the work out dancers doing sit ups and stair masters...i'm hoping drunk anna will come over and throw herself on konye

that's all for now, up to the moment, updates to follow. i need more beer and a j if i'm going to continue with this. Oh gawd, there's enough comedic material here to choke a hippo.

oooo oh! john mayer.....in black and white? and his mic feed is waaaaaaaay too low....oh wait, it was just turned up, thanks stage crew!!

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big boy from outkast giving almost EXACTLY the same acceptance speech twice...cept the 2nd time he remembered his record company....awww idn't that sweet.

oh and i forgot about snoop dogg selling $100 brownies back stage and ummm josh groban saying, "isn't this the line for the bizzathroom? and snoop laughing, and jimmy kimmel saying "did you ever think that martha stewart would be in jail and snoop would be baking?" hahahaha ok that one was funny. oh and he also got some laughs from "i think the best performace of the night was....anna nicole smith!" hahaha true dat kimmel true dat...

commercial break!

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hmmm...that alicia keys is one classy lady.

oh god rod stewart, i hope he doesn't butcher "what a wonderful world".....with his macdonald plaid pants and black velvet smoking jacket, i think he just may butcher my eyes if i continue to look....have a few more cigarettes there rod, i don't think your voice is quite husky enough....maybe you should clear that loogy out of there. wow he hit the high note, no butchering. good on ya rod, but hey, this isn't the respect for legends i was talkin about earlier.

i will say i like the orchestral feel of these song adaptations. 3 songs with conducters behind the singers so far.

Commercial break!!! my head hurts...i don't know if i can watch anymore

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*takes a bow*

no prob's moose. i am here for your entertainment. i decided that i couldn't take anymore and when i saw traffic was on IFC i switched. mmmmm movie about government corruption and the daughter of the US drug czar being a crack ho, smokin drug dealer pole for smack. that's hot.

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Uncle Cracker's greasy nasty hair and the singer of the country group he was singing with wearing a tie dye T-shirt with the sleeves cut off ala kung or hux

well i didn't get to watch all the fun

but that cut off t-shirt is the trademark of new country superstar Kenny Chesney

all his shirt sleeves are cut off and all his songs are country-pop

horrible, horrible stuff

but tops the charts on the country radio stations

and yes i do listen to country radio

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Hahaha, this was the country woman gretchen something who did a performance. She sang her song "red neck woman", what a riot. The song is like yeah i don't need victoria secret to please my man, i'm from a ranch, i say y'all and yee haw i'm a red neck woman. It was kinda catchy in that driving pop beat kinda way. It reminded me a lot of "i feel like a woman" by shania twain and ummmmm when the camera panned the audience, hahaha not one single person was moving, or bobbing their head or clapping, they were ALL sitting there completely still, just waiting for it to be over.

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yessss, i saw that on entertainment tonight last night - there was an interview on the red carpet and footage of her body guards dragging her around backstage cuz she couldn't walk. They said it was because she had just had a big workout with her trainer and her legs were "wobbly"

Apparently there is another interview with her tonight - i'm unsure if its more from the red carpet - i think it might be...

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hahaha i watched the first hour i'd say, that whole thing is evidence that i shouldn't be left to my own devices for 2 or 3 days on end, cause well....i get through all my devices and start doing silly things like that! that's why i'm glad mir's coming tomorrow!! devices!! hahahahahaha oh deeeeeeear that was a bad joke.

oh and snoop dogg and pharrell dropped a phat beat and did their new song, it had me steppin in my room. i had watched this MTV show earlier that day called made where they turned this nerdy fencing girl into a cool avi-licious hip hop step squad girl, and i picked up some new moves.

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