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Upcoming Blockbuster Movies...


Patchoulia
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One of the unsavoury elements of my job is knowing months in advance what movies are being released by all the studios…

I say “unsavoury” rather than “bonus” because the information I garner these days is never exciting or good, but rather makes me want to move somewhere untouched by the nefarious grip of the morons in Hollywood.

That being said, here are some teasers for upcoming features:

You can all rest easy knowing that everyone’s favourite gigolo—yes, that’s right, Deuce Bigalow—will be back! August 12th, “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” hits the big screen (phew! I couldn’t wait any longer!)

And, just in time for Easter (read: Mel Gibson needs even MORE $$$), The Passion of the Christ will be re-released March 25th—fun & cross-bearing for the whole family! See it again—make it a ritual—Christians love rituals!

Hell wants him. Heaven won't take him. Earth needs him. February 18th, Keanu Reeves IS “Constantine”.

See ya at the movies!

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Hey Booche...not sure if you've seen this site, but you might like it:

Kong is King!

I'm hoping Constantine is a cool movie too...even with Reeves...its based on a super cool comic called Hellblazer...check it out:

Hellblazer

There are some cool movies coming out in 2005 though:

My most anticipated: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Tim Burtons new one: Corpse Bride

Sin City (based on the kick ass Frank Miller comic)

Chronicles of Narnia (I think this comes out this year...)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (fingers crossed that its good)

Ong-Bak

[color:"purple"] ...and don't forget Miss Congeniality 2!!!

mike

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Anyone heard anything about Benicio del Toro directing The Rum Diary by HST? I heard it was in the works a few years back (with Johnny Depp to play HST again), but no news of a release date. I think Josh Harnett or some other little puss is going to play Yeamon. Ha! Sounds pretty crazy.

That would be awesome! Depp is Hunter, as far as actors go... Bill Murray can go fu©k himself!

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I can't wait for Peter Jackson's King Kong remake. Luckily it's done in homage to the original and not to the horrendous behemoth from the mid 70's.

I also can't wait for the movie version of the cancelled Fox series Firefly, which is sceduled for next September.

The Woods comes out in the fall (?) starring my favourite actor, Bruce " Evil Dead/Bubba Ho-Tep " Campbell. It's directed by Lucky McKee, who made the excellent and creepy low-budget horror film May from 2 years ago. Highly recommended.

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Anyone heard anything about Benicio del Toro directing The Rum Diary by HST? I heard it was in the works a few years back (with Johnny Depp to play HST again), but no news of a release date. I think Josh Harnett or some other little puss is going to play Yeamon. Ha! Sounds pretty crazy.

This should answer your question:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0376136/

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Anyone heard anything about Benicio del Toro directing The Rum Diary by HST? I heard it was in the works a few years back (with Johnny Depp to play HST again), but no news of a release date. I think Josh Harnett or some other little puss is going to play Yeamon. Ha! Sounds pretty crazy.

nice!!! i read that one not too long ago... josh nartnett sounds like kind of a lame pick, but you never know, eh? it IS after all, the one and only hunter thompson. i think he has taken over as my favourite author.

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Scheduled for release March 25th (for those of you not not heading back for a second dose of Passion of the Christ):

Guess Who, starring Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher (I love it already!!!)

Tagline: Some in-laws were meant to be broken.

Plot Outline: A sarcastic father (Mac) has plenty to say about his daughter wanting to marry a white boy (Kutcher).

What a plot! Intriguing, timeless, topical...a surefire hit!

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Scheduled for release March 25th (for those of you not not heading back for a second dose of Passion of the Christ):

Guess Who, starring Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher (I love it already!!!)

Tagline: Some in-laws were meant to be broken.

Plot Outline: A sarcastic father (Mac) has plenty to say about his daughter wanting to marry a white boy (Kutcher).

What a plot! Intriguing, timeless, topical...a surefire hit!

You are kidding right?

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