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lets get serious about the banter....


ggrtrhhrtgg

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oh yeah, on the topic of adoption. my step-dad has been in my life since i was seven and i have way more in common with him than my mom (who is my biological mom) whenever i wanted someone to talk to i would go to him first. we see eye to eye on a lot more things than my mom and i. we can also argue too. but i feel that my step-dad understands me a lot more than my mom. so it's really just a lottery as far as all that stuff goes in my opinion.

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definately a lottery, I know lots of natural birth folks who don't see eye to eye with their folks... and adopted kids who share interests and tastes with their adoptive family (my sister is adopted too but shares a lot more of my parents tastes and interests)

only mentioned it due to the seemingly genetic extremes... my adoptive folks say the same thing

was confusing to me and my folks for a long time til we accepted no one was in the wrong and there was a reason I hated every meal... my interests seemed crazy to them (my dad threw out my first computer I programmed 8 hours a day on and banned me from getting another because he said it was ruining my life by making me miss baseball practice, in 1985)... what colors looked good to them looked bad to me, what smelled good to me smelled bad to them, etc.

we got along pretty well really, just I have no interest in sports or the meeting the status quo or mechanics or collecting and they have no interest in science or art or music or travelling... we're just from different families, things are smooth since we accepted that

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Re:used things. If you are in Ottawa you can score awesome things from the trash. I can't take credit (and my girlfriend is a sometimes lurker) but just last week she scored an immaculate lounge chair. No scratches, all the padding and stuffing intact, even the fabric was totally white and stain-free. I seriously have no idea why someone would throw it out unless they bought a new chair.

There's some amazing trash in the glebe for all you O-towners.

A co-worker pushed this site on me, Ottawa Freecycle:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OttawaFreecycle/

It's a mailing list where people offer up unwanted items for free. Haven't tried it myself yet. There are many Freecycle groups for different communities.

I've also found a lot of great things in the garbage: a nice Italian leather chair and a working record player.

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I'm adopted too Paisley... I get on really well with my family, although, I do have interests in things they do not... I think its more of an individuality thing more than genetics... but, I have to admit, my parents have zero interest in music, and I am obviously very intrigued, interested, mesmerized at times, by my love of music and art, I found out that my natural mother and all of her siblings were musically inclined, and she was "a singer in a popular music band at the time," and was considered a hippie by the way she dressed and her mannerisms.. Have you met your biological parents?

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I am not adopted and am one of four children. I have absolutely nothing in common with either of my parents or any of my siblings. Never have and likely never will.

We're a very close family and love each other a lot, but honestly there is NOTHING I have in common with any of them and we're biologically connected. I may as well have been adopted, it would answer a lot of questions.

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nope thought about it once but passed, may look into it some day

natural father was an engineer, natural mother was a school teacher, both Irish is all I know of them

individuality certainly plays a big part but there is something to be said to at least being in the same room... I wasn't rebelling, desperately wanted to fit in like my adopted sister was easily able to... it was just constantly like banging my head against a wall, it was exhausting trying to be someone I couldn't understand at all

get along awesome with the folks... have all the respect in the world for them... we just see through different eyes and have different digestive systems

stop by, my folks will tell you the same thing... they felt really bad for a long time because they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and how to fix it... turned out we're just different and there's a simple reason why we're different

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I really don't want kids... I have felt this way since I was in about Grade 8 or 9... I don't want the responsibiltity, and I'd rather enjoy my entire life as opposed to having to put my life aside so that my kid "has it better than I did"... Please don't say I'm horrible, I think it would be more horrible to have a kid and hate it for (in my mind) ruining my life... people who want kids should have kids, people that don't definately should not. I fall into the latter group...

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Please don't say I'm horrible, I think it would be more horrible to have a kid and hate it for (in my mind) ruining my life... people who want kids should have kids, people that don't definately should not. I fall into the latter group...

On the contrary, Del, you should not be regarded as "horrible", rather you should be lauded. Too many people seem to have kids despite apparently not giving a crap about them, or even despite the fact they resent the child. More people should be as reasonable as you are, and not simply procreate for the reason that everyone expects them to do so.

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To each their own, I think a kid is going to bring great joy provided the time is right, and don't see why I'd have to put life aside in order to raise one.

When you're with someone you really love it becomes easier to see yourself doing all the things you said you'd never do (get married, have kids, settle down with one person, etc).

That said I want no more than one child.

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Well I actually plan on HAVING kids someday to improve the state of the world. Here's my thoughts...I feel that a person can directly reflect on his/her parents and vice versa. Children are the hope and future we have in the world.

I seriously hope you people aren't just being nice to me and actually enjoy hanging out with me, as well as the many other people that seem to...as long as I put the right energies into raising a child and doing this with the right woman, my kid(s) will make the lives of those around him/her better in some way. Whether it's a new idea, helping the fat kid in 4th grade overcome personal insecurities and eventually find a cure for cancer, or paint a picure that inspires somebody to feel somehting special if only for a moment - my job would be done well.

heck...if my kid got into a car accident that averted a national disaster that'd be worth it too...

so that's what i'll be willing to do sometime...but for now it's almost 1:30 in the morning and i just got back from a beautiful valentine's week...i'll save you all from my babbling. gotta make a difference somehow - if only one lady at a time.

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It's true. As long as this planet is going to have homo sapiens walking around on it, it would make sense that we'd want the conscious sort, and not just leave it the lunkheads that are sucking the life out of it. I always think of R.D. Laing -

"... if nothing else, each time a new baby is born there is a possibility of reprieve. Each child is a new being, a potential prophet, a new spiritual prince, a new spark of light, precipitated into the outer darkness. Who are we to decide that it is hopeless?"

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you know...when i first read the topic i thought i should do something entirely different than have kids as my answer...but people got onto the offspring topic and biased me. thanks for that by the way...but: to make the world a better place I'm going to keep living my life for me the way I have been thus far. I've always been here to experience life however it feels right for me and I believe that my life - however sh!tty i can make it seem, judging it with petty criteria (money, accomplishment and whatever else people try to associate themselves with to make themselves feel more important...aah worldliness(if you do this i'm not judging you...i'm just past that nowadays)) is going in the right direction. forwards.

As long as I don't get lazy or complacent and keep working towards some sort of goal or push - bettering myself and my standing as it requires, I'll be contributing to existence.

as far as society? it's all in making the people around me happy and being real to them.

take in what i can to make my personal universe bigger and better, put what i can out to make other universes collide.

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while this topic is resurfaced I want to clarify that I'm not against adoption in the slightest, in fact I think its a beautiful thing for people to do... there are lots of children out there without homes and lots of great potential parents who would really help those kids out... I've seriously pondered adopting someday myself

I was just saying that if a parent does adopt be prepared to give that child room to be themselves, no matter who that is... and rememeber not to take it personally if they think your favorite pork roast (or tofurkey) is horrific, just let them eat something else

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