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Cat shoots owner


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Cat Shoots Owner

2 hours, 40 minutes ago Strange News - AP

BATES TOWNSHIP, Mich. - A man cooking in his kitchen was shot after one of his cats knocked his 9mm handgun onto the floor, discharging the weapon, Michigan State Police said.

Joseph Stanton, 29, of Bates Township in Iron County, was shot in his lower torso around 6 p.m. Tuesday, the state police post in Iron River reported. He was transported to Iron County Community Hospital.

Michelle Sand, a spokeswoman at the Iron River hospital, said Stanton was treated there before being transferred to Marquette General Hospital for further treatment. But Marcie Miller, a representative of the Marquette facility, said there was no record of the hospital receiving a patient by that name.

A telephone message seeking comment was left Wednesday at Stanton's home.

State police said he was cooking at his stove when the cat knocked the loaded gun off the kitchen counter behind him.

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Authorities Investigating Song-Shooting Link


After what was initially thought to be an unfortunate random occurence, in which a man's cat knocked his loaded pistol to the kitchen floor, causing it to fire and wound the owner of the cat and gun, authorities are investigating whether the cat's exposure to a certain piece of music may be involved.

The state police issued the following update on the incident: "While we were examining the scene, we discovered that the cat owns a copy of a bootleg recording of a band called 'The Tummies', and one of their songs, 'Pumpkin', talks about a cat carrying a handgun, and using and selling illegal drugs. We're not sure at this point if there's any connection between the music and the incident, but we're continuing to investigate. Just as kids are being influenced by violent video games to mimic what they see in them, it looks like we now have to have a rating system on music to make sure household pets can be protected from violently influential music."

'The Tummies' is a Canadian act, which does very few gigs and has no official releases, but there are numerous bootlegs of their shows that are prized by collectors. None of the band members could be contacted to comment on the incident.

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We're not sure at this point if there's any connection between the music and the incident, but we're continuing to investigate.

Not sure?!?! Whatever!!! That guy is part of my army and I don't care who knows it!

You can euthanize him, but there will be another soldier right there to take his place.

The time has come. Your reign of dictatorial, oligarchic, human tyrrany is over!


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