Basher Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 Cat Shoots Owner 2 hours, 40 minutes ago Strange News - AP BATES TOWNSHIP, Mich. - A man cooking in his kitchen was shot after one of his cats knocked his 9mm handgun onto the floor, discharging the weapon, Michigan State Police said. Joseph Stanton, 29, of Bates Township in Iron County, was shot in his lower torso around 6 p.m. Tuesday, the state police post in Iron River reported. He was transported to Iron County Community Hospital. Michelle Sand, a spokeswoman at the Iron River hospital, said Stanton was treated there before being transferred to Marquette General Hospital for further treatment. But Marcie Miller, a representative of the Marquette facility, said there was no record of the hospital receiving a patient by that name. A telephone message seeking comment was left Wednesday at Stanton's home. State police said he was cooking at his stove when the cat knocked the loaded gun off the kitchen counter behind him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Evil_Mouse Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 The revolution has begun. Let us bow to our new overlords.(Hey, I'm cool with it. Didn't cats already once rule the earth?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 "Rickey, what did I tell you about firing off guns inside the trailer?????" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpkin Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 Onward brothers! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!! :: :: :: :: :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SevenSeasJim Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 Everybody needs a loaded 9mm handgun in their kitchen. fu©king pussy (meow) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 Actually, it wasn't the cat who shot the owner, it was the floor. My guess is that the cat and floor conspired to shoot their collective owner. Aloha, Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 Guns don't kill people, cats kill people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 He never does the dishes Anymore He sleeps in his catbox And he shits on the floor He carries a handgun And he slams his cat door 'Cuz my cat's on crack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 Authorities Investigating Song-Shooting Link AP - BATES TOWNSHIP, Mich After what was initially thought to be an unfortunate random occurence, in which a man's cat knocked his loaded pistol to the kitchen floor, causing it to fire and wound the owner of the cat and gun, authorities are investigating whether the cat's exposure to a certain piece of music may be involved. The state police issued the following update on the incident: "While we were examining the scene, we discovered that the cat owns a copy of a bootleg recording of a band called 'The Tummies', and one of their songs, 'Pumpkin', talks about a cat carrying a handgun, and using and selling illegal drugs. We're not sure at this point if there's any connection between the music and the incident, but we're continuing to investigate. Just as kids are being influenced by violent video games to mimic what they see in them, it looks like we now have to have a rating system on music to make sure household pets can be protected from violently influential music." 'The Tummies' is a Canadian act, which does very few gigs and has no official releases, but there are numerous bootlegs of their shows that are prized by collectors. None of the band members could be contacted to comment on the incident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mung Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 were te next fuckingg marelyn manson bbaby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 Oh geez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 With this latest development, I am hiding me Lucky Charms tonight and getting rid of my Superman movies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpkin Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 :: :: :: :: :: We're not sure at this point if there's any connection between the music and the incident, but we're continuing to investigate. Not sure?!?! Whatever!!! That guy is part of my army and I don't care who knows it! You can euthanize him, but there will be another soldier right there to take his place. The time has come. Your reign of dictatorial, oligarchic, human tyrrany is over! VIVA LA FELIS CATUS!!! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!! :: :: :: :: :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 Oh, geez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timouse Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 i knew something was up. my cats were all in the corner whispering to one another last night. i figured that eventually humans would get bumped from the top of the heap, i always figured the dolphins would take over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouche Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 that cat was likely on crack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooly Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 my cats been training, he rocked a racoon the other day, i was sooo surprised to watch the coon go limping off, bleeding in the road while my cat comes trotting up the porch all proud of himself, he is a tank, he dont need no gun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SevenSeasJim Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 The grassy fu©king knoll Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted March 11, 2005 Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 has anyone tried negotiating with these blood-thirsty muthas? catnip? mice? a position in the Canadian Senate? I'm scared (whimper) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Evil_Mouse Posted March 11, 2005 Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 No way! Cats are too cool not to let run the planet (well, once we convince them to become vegetarians). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneMtn Posted March 11, 2005 Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 You are one seriously liberal mouse. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douglas Posted March 11, 2005 Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 I just put booche to bed, and ensured that SammyCat was behind closed-door with him.... I haven't clipped his claws (take your pick: booche/sammy) in 2 weeks...l'le experiment I've got goin' on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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