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Funny or Embarassing Gig Stories


Deeps

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I guess this one qualifies..

One time we were playing in Sault Ste Marie,at a venue called The Outpost. Drove slowly all day, from Thunder Bay through the scariest snowstorm ever, down one of the scarier highways in Canada, and pulled into town about 10pm to the dive of a venue on a Sunday night.. had a horrendous show, playing to basically no one. Luckily we were enjoying unlimited Coors Light on Draught, so we made the best of it..

As the show went along, I was quietly fighting a brutal wave of fast food expulsion and Coors Light regret that was washing over me like a gross wet rag .. as soon as our set was done I ran to the washroom, only to find stalls with no doors or seats; The rims werent in much better shape and appeared to have been recently vomited on. Went into the ladies room (no shame) and it was worse in ways I wont describe. I quickly took it upon myself to locate the staff washroom.. into the kitchen (which smelled more like a morgue). peeking into all the little rooms, and storage areas... finally, a door, a light switch... a sink, a toilet... with a lid!! closed the door, pants down, dropped to the ivory, and felt the touch of god and satan all at once. enjoyed releif for 10 seconds, wiped my ass with some coarse paper towel...felt to the side and couldnt find the handle. no flusher.. stood up and noticed there was no lid or plumbing at all, let alone piping attached to the toilet. in my desperation, I mistook an unhooked toilet in a janitor closet as a staff stall. I snuck out of the back area quietly, told the other guys that we had to get the hell out of there... we packed up and went for Burger King..

The bus wouldnt fit through the drive through, so we walked through it and made a scene, then we got drunker in the bus and laughed about it. ::

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i love it when you talk sh!t.

me too! ;)

this was an awesome, frikken hilarious story that not many would choose to 'share', so kudos to ya! best on the thread so far, i vote!

now as an English teacher, i'm dying to work the following into a lesson on metaphors -- absolutely spot-on gm!!

As the show went along, I was quietly fighting a brutal wave of fast food expulsion and Coors Light regret that was washing over me like a gross wet rag
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