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Obscenities uttered by Jesus Christ


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Reminds me of a page in The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok - God's middle-school report card.

English: 11% - Poor, handwriting weak.

French: 9% - Very poor.

Geography: 30% - Surprisingly poor. His knowledge appears somewhat dated. Interesting ideas about rock formation. Keeps going "Kerpow!"

Art: 62% - Very creative. However, he does keep claiming to have created everything including myself, Mr. Vidler, the organist, and even several town boys.


Progress and Conduct: I'm afraid that I am severely disappointed in God's works. All three of him have shown no tendency to improve and He merely sits at the back of the class talking to himselves. He has shown no interest in Rugger, asked to be excused Prayers, and moves in mysterious ways. What is more his omnipresence is beginning to cause some embarrassment in big school, since he is continually out of bounds, and of course at the same time always in Matron's bed. Finally his attentions to the carpentry master's fiancee caused her to leave a term early and there are several nasty rumours flying about the house.


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