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Best. Website. EVER!


Patchoulia

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Is this the best website or the sickest, you being a vegan and all?

Sick, shmick--whoever came up with this may the most warped person in the world. You gotta admire that.

Q: Is wearing a hat of meat harmful to my hair?

A: On the contrary, the protein and natural juices found in meat provide your hair with essential nutrients. Traces of fat lubricate the follicles, in some cases even encouraging new growth.

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Q: How can I prevent a hat of meat from going bad?

A: We suggest that when not in use, you keep your hat of meat in the refrigerator or freezer. For periods of prolonged exposure, spraying your hat with a thin coat of hairspray or Pam provides hours of protection.

Q: How do I discourage flies and dogs from pestering me when I am wearing a hat of meat?

A: A squirt-gun filled with lemon or lime juice is an excellent canine deterrent. A thin coat of hairspray on your hat of meat will keep the flies away.

Q: Is it safe for me to eat a hat of meat?

A: Except for hats made of beef or other types of jerky, it is not recommended that you ingest any type of meat hat.

Q: How can I combat the foul smell that sometimes comes with older hats of meat?

A: A simple solution is to lightly baste your hats of meat with barbecue sauce, teriyaki or other aromatic marinades.

Q: Is there such thing as a wig or toupee of meat?

A: Yes. Manhattan’s trendy “Meatheads†shop offers a wide selection of hair replacement options made entirely of meat.

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THE COW-BOY HAT - This American classic, made of the best marbleized cuts of beef available, assures that you won’t just herd cattle, you’ll wear them. With this beauty, the cows are alwavs on your mind.

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THE BRISKET YARMULKE - Made of 100% kosher brisket, this one-size-fits-all “beefy beanie†comes emblazoned with a horseradish Star of David.

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