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son of "ask hamilton a question"


timouse

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Dear Hamilton:

Long time reader, first time writer.

I just got a pet rabbit (against my will) at least until I can find a new owner. He's a grey, floppy-eared bunny.

How long do rabbits live? Is it true they can actually die of heart-attacks if you let your dumb, rowdy dog bark into their cage (or at least forget to barricade the door to the room so you fail to prevent that)? Also, how do you let your rabbit jump around the room without him chewing everything in sight?

Signed,

Pushover-Owner-of-Too-Many-Pets

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so this was one of my favourite threads, but a quick search turned up nothing...so hamiton, how is it going? have you found satisfying work?

Hmmm... well, yes I have found work, and it's not unsatisfying, if not 100% satisfying. At least it's challenging, anyway. I have to drive further than I'd like to (all the way to Brampton, but the office moves to Mississauga in the winter). The money is okay, but I could use more (who couldn't, really?).

Anyway, I'm not letting it stand in the way of my long-term goal: becoming a fire-truck. I've wanted to be a fire-truck ever since I was a boy. I could be all red and shiny and metallic, and I'd have a cool siren: "Weeee-wonk, wheeeee-wonk, wonk-wonk-wonk blatt blatt, weee-wonk, wheeeee-wonk, wonk-wonk-wonk...".

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Hamilton, whose your favourite cartoon character?

The mighty Homer:

Homer%20et%20ses%20tobaccos.gif

No one else comes close. Other than Lazlo, naturally.

Unless you meant, "Which female cartoon character would you be most likely to get it on with?" Because if that's what you meant, then the answer is probably Betty Rubble, although Daphne from "Scooby-Doo" and Jessica Rabbit would be close behind on that list.

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Dear Hamilton:

Long time reader, first time writer.

I just got a pet rabbit (against my will) at least until I can find a new owner. He's a grey, floppy-eared bunny.

How long do rabbits live? Is it true they can actually die of heart-attacks if you let your dumb, rowdy dog bark into their cage (or at least forget to barricade the door to the room so you fail to prevent that)? Also, how do you let your rabbit jump around the room without him chewing everything in sight?

Signed,

Pushover-Owner-of-Too-Many-Pets

I once owned a rabbit that lived to be six hundred and twenty-seven years old. My next one lived negative thirten years, dying long, long before it was even born. So, the lifespan of a rabbit falls somewhere between those extremes, as far as I'm concerned. As far as other people are concerned, who cares about them? Not me, that's for sure.

Don't let the gentle nature of rabbits fool you. Remember the scene in The Holy Grail? That's what'll happen to your pooch if he's not careful. Nasty little buggers, rabbits.

On the other hand, should your little bunny foo-foo actually kick it, they make a delicious stew. Mmmm... wabbit! Just ask Glenn Close...

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dear hamilton,

Two questions.

1. What was the name of the Korean dish that involved noddles and like a black beefy sauce (jap-jamon maybe)?

2. Did you know Paul Aitken just moved to Hamilton to work on his masters of Music?

1. Close, but no cigar. It's ja-jang-myun, actually. Delicious!!

2. No, I didn't. I'd ask you where he is living, but I think I'm the one who answers the questions in this thread, not you.

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Dear hamilton,

If one has already had the discussion with one's parents regarding the amount of marijuana one ingests on a weekly basis, is one still obligated to follow proper bong-hiding etiquette when one's parents are due to visit?

Speaking hypothetically, of course.

Sure. You might tell your parents that you're sleeping with your girlfriend, but you'd still take her lingerie off the living-room couch and hide the strawberry-flavoured lubricant bottle and discarded, semen-filled condoms before Ma and Pa come to visit, right?

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Dear hamilton' date='

If one has already had the discussion with one's parents regarding the amount of marijuana one ingests on a weekly basis, is one still obligated to follow proper bong-hiding etiquette when one's parents are due to visit?

Speaking hypothetically, of course.[/quote']

Sure. You might tell your parents that you're sleeping with your girlfriend, but you'd still take her lingerie off the living-room couch and hide the strawberry-flavoured lubricant bottle and discarded, semen-filled condoms before Ma and Pa come to visit, right?

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *breathe* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Hamilton, which show at pepper jack's is going to help solve the world's problems most, this week?

Monday: Dave Rave, Run For The Cure Fundraiser

Wednesday: Open Stage with Lismore at midnight

Thursday: Adrienne Pierce, Mellissa McClelland, Lisa Winn, Janine Stoll, Birdseyeing It, Matthew Stevens Quartet,

Friday: Diesel Dog/The Spades

Saturday: Maracatu Nunca Antes

Sunday: Saul Williams, Lal, Peoples Republic, Jon Sikich

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Hamilton, which show at pepper jack's is going to help solve the world's problems most, this week?

Monday: Dave Rave, Run For The Cure Fundraiser

Wednesday: Open Stage with Lismore at midnight

Thursday: Adrienne Pierce, Mellissa McClelland, Lisa Winn, Janine Stoll, Birdseyeing It, Matthew Stevens Quartet,

Friday: Diesel Dog/The Spades

Saturday: Maracatu Nunca Antes

Sunday: Saul Williams, Lal, Peoples Republic, Jon Sikich

I guess the Monday night fundraiser for The Cure. I didn't realize that Robert Smith was in financial trouble. Strange to have a fundraiser for a band, when you could have one for, say, cancer or something. Still, it's a good idea though - maybe we should have one for Leonard Cohen next.

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is lazlo as outspoken in real life?

What most people don't realize is that in the world outside of this message board, Lazlo is mute and never bothered to learn sign-language. So it's not surprising that he uses the internet to express every thought that enters his syphillis-ridden brain.

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