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Intelligent Design VS. FSM


fluffhead77
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so glad you've seen the light brother!

welcome aboard, yaaar!!!

find yer pirate costume, and help me spread the word!

it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

th_pchart1.jpg

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FSM Sightings

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brother Henderson,

Forgive me for the obsession with His noodly appendage, but I have felt

truly moved by the FSM experience and spent the entire weekend

evangalizing my co-workers. I believe that Pastafarianism has a real

future in psychiatry, as the FSM can explain all things which we once

found mystifying. Let me give you an example of how you have

enlightened us.

Psychosis is merely the noodly-appendage making Its appearance known to

those who are not yet ready to receive It. These are people who have

likely avoided carbohydrates in their diets, being corrupted by refusing

to commune with the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a normal dietary

manner. We discovered recently that a plate piled high with spaghetti

has been just as effective as antipsychotic medications in diminishing

delusions and hallucinations! We are currently considering writing a

grant proposal to study the possible correlation between tangled nerve

bundles in the brain associated with Alzheimer's Disease and the FSM.

We, the newly converted to praising His starchy name, will seek to apply

the pirate regalia to our nursing scrubs. In honor of His desire for us

to dress as pirates, I am attaching a photo that I made in trubute to

His mysterious command.

With sincere humor,

Linda Straight, RN, MS, PhD

115.jpg

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64.jpg

be honest, now, anyone else have pasta for supper tonight?

fack...I'm a total fucking prosletizing idiot for My Noodly Master.

I've seldom felt such drive in my life!!!!!

I hereby declare myself a pastafarian!

and by the slap of His Noodly Appendage, I wish to 4-cheese sauce that I knew more about His concept of a hell, by which to threaten all you NON-BELEIVERS out there.

Please post widely: The "1st Pastafarian Chapter of the Village of Osgood" will convene next Tuesday for study of His Noodly Wisdom and lasagna. Come in full pirate regalia, yaar!

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hey StoneMtn, check this out...can you help?

man, I'd love to take a working holiday to sail on this missionary pirate ship!!!

The plan, for some time now, has been to form a non-profit organization, and then purchase a pirate ship, for missionary work - tax free. The government has anticipated needs like ours, allowing religious and scientific groups to continue their not-for-profit work without the burden of taxes. One would think that we, Pastafarians, would qualify, being a widely recognized religion, with overwhelming support by the scientific community.

Consider that we are without question the most peaceful religion in existence, with zero documented deaths attributed to us, as opposed to - as an example - Christians who are responsible for millions of deaths (note to angry Christians: the Crusades).

And, don't forget about our important scientific research. We've established that there is a statistically significant relationship between the declining pirate population and global temperature. Global warming is a serious problem, and the more pirate ships out there, the better for all of us - even the non-believers.

But we've run into problems setting this up. Apparently we are seen as more of a joke - satire, if you will - than a real religion. I, for one, am offended. I feel that my constitutionally guaranteed freedom of religious belief is being unfairly discriminated against.

Obviously, if we have to pay taxes, we won't be able to afford as large or bad-ass of a pirate ship. We will continue to fight this discrimination - and if there are any lawyers out there who want to help with the Cause, let me know. In the mean time, let your voice be heard. Sign this petition to show your support and let those government agencies know that ours is a serious religion and deserves recognition.

in addition, "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster" will be published in Feb. 2006 and Brother Henderson is donating ALL proceeds to the Pirate Ship Cause.

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okay, clearly I'm living in too small a village, and have llamas for neighbours....but I need to share this news:

for the second time in 2 nights, the divine FSM has made Himself known to me; and by His noodly and saucy Appendage, he has commanded me to partake in a late-night spaghetti snack/communion. Now to put this in perspective folks....I only eat pasta about ONCE A MONTH!!!! What else can this be apart from Divine direction and guidance?? ALL HAIL THE DIVINE FSM!!!!

I have also come to humbly realize that our Noodly Master is not a vengeful being. In a post above, I 'threatened' non-believers that I would discover and reveal the horrors of the FSM's Hell. I have now seen that our Noodly Master only rewards the faithful and is unconcerned with the heathens (so far) and that heaven is a beautiful place with a Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory!!!!

play the game and claim your just rewards in Heaven

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