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In appreciation of people who date musicians.


Deeps
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A band can demand all the emotional management a kid can handle.

There are things you let go, there are things that need to be addressed. When people insist that their partners communicate too much, or are hell bent on not talking about what they feel you may find yourself knee deep in confusion and up all night. While your girlfriend (in my case) wonders if you'll return long enough from your pensive state to enjoy dinner with her.

There is an inate thing that keeps you together in both a relationship and a band. A relationship's binding factor is the love of one another coupled with the time put in, and the band's binding factor is the love of the music copled with the same timey factor.

When there is a period of re-adjustment or a shift in equilibrium....there is a lot of anxiety that occurs. If I address issue A will issues b,c,d and e bubble to the top causing exponential confusion? should I just stay away from the thorn in my side so as to grip relentlessly to what I've got now? what if I realize it was a bad decision to try to stick it out? what would it feel like to be with someone else? avoid that temptation Deeps.

It amazes me when I think of the similarities.

We all need love and musicicians need to make music as much if not moreso than they need love IMHO.

There have come times when I've asked myself if I'm in it because I'm afraid to lose the music? or if am I'm just lying to myself about how good the music is? We've all been there with a loved one and most musicians have been there with both.

I would like to formally thank all girlfriends and boyfriends of musicians that allow there musical partner's hearts to be shared with their band mates and by there allowance take on an extra dose of unpredictability.

Dunno just been thinking about this a bit today.

Thanks Sara (my fiancé).

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my girlfriend once asked me, rhetoricaly, if I would give up guitar for her.

I'm glad that was a rhetorical question - anything more serious would be cause for serious concern - a soul-ripper, in other words, which would make me question a girl's intentions for said soul. There are plenty of things that can happen that can make you wonder about those intentions, but that one's pretty dire; it is about how you communicate with the world, after all.

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It's interesting that I stumbled across this topic right now. Just last night Todd and I had a big discussion about summer plans, which is always a bit of a game of tug'o'war.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Fatties, and I was a fan first, however it can get a little frustrating sometimes when you have to always book your life up months in advance. There is seldom room for flying by the seat of your pants, which is difficult when your family and friend's schedules do not work the same way. I love going to festivals, and gigs, and shakin it on down and whatnot, and would never want Todd to stop playing, but it certainly isn't always conducive to lovey dovey quality time. Often the alternative to gig nights (and grad studies, family stuff, etc, etc) is sheer exhaustion.

Nonetheless I wouldn't have it any other way. I just wish life didn't pass so fast sometimes, either that or there were more hours in a day...

Thanks Deeps, I appreciate the appreciation.

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I had a few to many friday to make any real attempt at a reply so (a few days later)... My wife and I have been together over ten years, we both work and at times our schedules were different. That was hard enough.

I could not imagine finding a women sensitive enough to be able to handle playing 'second fiddle'. As for me I could handle it but I also would drink to much in the process.

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for both partners, it's a balancing act, that's for sure. But tough times are to be expected in any relationship, not just in musician-fan relationships. again, the key is balance (whatever the hell that means sometimes!)

CJ has always brought more life to our own shows than I or anyone else could ever have hoped for.

how beautiful and flattering, to be considered a sometimes muse (and not just the cause of grey hairs!) :P

Often the alternative to gig nights (and grad studies, family stuff, etc, etc) is sheer exhaustion.

Nonetheless I wouldn't have it any other way. I just wish life didn't pass so fast sometimes, either that or there were more hours in a day...

well put! I also wouldn't have it any other way (especially now with kids in the house; I feel that surrounding them with music somehow arms them against the craziness of the world) BTW, edger, I've been enjoying your posts! A belated welcome to the board!

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Thanks so much CJ. The feeling is mutual. I keep trying to figure out whether I have ever met the two of you yet or not. I am sure that at some point our paths have crossed, and hopefully they will again soon in the future.

I noticed in one of the threads that you mentioned that perhaps you guys may make a road trip to see the Fatties/Meat/FOH show in TO next week? Is that still a possibility? If not, perhaps we'll run into each other at CTMF or Lose Yer Shoes?

Cheers!

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