Girl Wearing a Skin Tight Miniskirt

[bouche]

One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt.

When the bus arrived, and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight that she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzipps her skirt a little.

She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way.

Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifts up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrased the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus.

The girl turns around furiously and says, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!”

Shocked, the man says, “Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends.”

[Hartamophone]

Hey-oooohhh!

[bouche]

HEY NOW!

[SaggyBalls]

Are you following me around the web?

Jebus.

[Davey Boy 2.0]

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, '13...13.... 13...13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.

Some bastardpoked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting. '14...14...14. ..14....

[Schwa.]

A kid walks into the Walmart and goes to the Sales Manager to ask for a job. The manager says "Ok, if you can do what i do then you can have a job here"

So the first customer to walk in is a man looking for grass seed. the manager runs over to the garden section and grabs a bag of seed for the man and then trys a little upsale. He says you know sir, if you're going to have all of this seed you'll need a lawnmower to cut it with. Oh yeah says the man ring me up that one right there.

Now it's the kids turn. First customer thru the door is a woman looking for tampons. the kid runs to get them, and is ringing them up at the till when he says "you know what lady, you could really use a lawnmower. "why" she says. Kid replys "well, since you can't have sex with your husband right now, you might as well be out cutting the grass"

whaaa, whaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

[StaggerLee]

A mystic walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "make me one with everything."