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World's Largest Tug of War to decide fate of Canada

Large Marge

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Come one, come all...

Date: Saturday, December 6, 2008

Time: 12:00pm - 2:00pm

Location: University, Queen to College

City/Town: Toronto, ON

December 6th in Toronto - Two Rallies. One Rope.

1) Conservative Party Rally at Queen's Park


2) Rally for a Progressive Coalition at City Hall


Rumours have been circulating that a rope will be placed along University Avenue, between the two rallies. Media sources have confirmed speculation today that the Governor General will grant control of the House of Commons to whoever wins the Tug of War.

All parties are now in heavy training, preparing for Saturday's event. Details have not been worked out yet, but local police warn that traffic may be affected by the Tug of War. "We're doing traffic simulations right now, to determine how disruptive this event will be." said a spokesperson. "One possibility is to close down the subway, and hold the entire event underground, with the Conservatives at Queen's Park and the Coalition at Osgoode."

An official binding Tug of War is unprecedented in Canadian history. While some members of the House of Commons requested that the results of the competition be proportional, the Governor General has ruled that all Tugs of War shall be decided by a "First Past the Post" system. In this case, the "post" is Dundas.


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