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A call for some heady healing vibes

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"There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.

Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.

"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.

After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.

While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.

Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.

"You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"


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"A Sentimental Anniversary

A woman awakes during the night to find

that her husband was not in their

bed. She puts on her robe and goes

downstairs to look for him. She finds

him sitting at the kitchen table with a

hot cup of coffee in front of him. He

appears to be in deep thought, just

staring at the wall. She watches as he

wipes a tear from his eye and takes

a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers

as she steps into the room, "why

are you down here at this time

of night?" The husband looks up from

his coffee, "I am just remembering when we

first met 20 years ago and started dating.

You were only 16. Do

you remember back then?" he asks


The wife is allmost reduced to tears

herself, just thinking how caring and

sensitive her husband is. "Yes, I do"

she replies. The husband pauses.

The words were not coming easily.

"Do you remember when your dad

caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember", said the wife, lowering

herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you

remember when he shoved that shotgun

in my face and said, "Either you

marry my daughter, or I will send you

to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that,

too she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and

says...."I would have gotten out today!"


See ya Kingston side tommorrow Uncle Jesse. :)

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