Schwa. Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 21 Economic Models ExplainedSOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour.COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk.FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you.BUREAUCRATISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milkaway.TRADITIONAL CAPITALISMYou have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.SURREALISMYou have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.AN AMERICAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISMYou have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters ofcredit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all fourcows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to aCayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sellsthe rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on onemore.You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving youwith nine cows.No balance sheet provided with the release.The public then buys your bull.A FRENCH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you wantthree cows.A JAPANESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow andproduce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market itworldwide.A GERMAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milkthemselves.AN ITALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.You decide to have lunch.A RUSSIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.A SWISS CORPORATIONYou have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them.A CHINESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.AN INDIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You worship them.A BRITISH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Both are mad.AN IRAQI CORPORATIONEveryone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none.No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade yourcountry.You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATIONYou have two cows.The one on the left looks very attractive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggo Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 thanks schwa! i got this in an email awhile ago but i lost it. i think italy is my favourite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted April 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Iraq was my fave i think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Love it. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanada Kev Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 What about the "Awkward Cow"? Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YearsAlongTheSea Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Highlarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 SCANCISMYou have two cows.You try giving them heady vibes in hopes of miracle organic vegan milk production.Your cows produce regular milk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hal Johnson Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Scancism You want two cows. Basher will let you know when they go on sale Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgnor Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 SCANCISMYou have two cows.You try giving them heady vibes in hopes of miracle organic vegan milk production.Your cows produce regular milk.but you're pretty sure it's heady because elemeno dosed it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted April 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 C-Towns Corporationyou own 2 cows1 gets deportedthe other shits on your couch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 elemeno dosed your vibes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgnor Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 the milk dude, he dosed the milk... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 what milk mannnnn? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 SCANCISM BradM urls 2 cows for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgnor Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 what milk mannnnn?I'm so wasted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted April 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 FacebookismYou own 2 cows1 cow wants to be your friendthe other cow constantly takes quizzes*ALERT* DAVEY BOY is now taking a shityou deny the first cow and purge the 2nd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgnor Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Wookism - You've got two cows.You don't feed or clean them cuase you're too lazy.They die and you won't eat the meat cuase you're vegitarian and it wouldn't be ethical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggest Fan Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Thanks a whole lot. The 'old grind' has been doing exactly that as of late. I really do not remember when I laughed aloud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dimafleck: the living legend. Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Dimafleckism:You have more cows than some stupid hippies who traded their cows long ago for some magic beans.You rattle their cages every now and then while drinking a nice cold glass of healthy milk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewRider Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Dimafleckism:Your mommy and daddy buy you two cows.You sell them for Phish tickets because you're actually a stupid hippie that thinks more of yourself then you really should. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggo Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 ouchie! newrider = mean cow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted April 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 SCHWAISMYou have 2 cows. C-Towns tells everyone they are broken in 8 places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted April 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 BoochismYou have two cows.They make you Angré. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 BouchismYou have two cows.That's 24 567 753 weight watchers points Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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