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Work Stress

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair

dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with


4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over

their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds

all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party

because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Joe.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time

this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling

"run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to

have to let one of you go."

And ! the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it

to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this

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True story...

During an exam, I was sitting in the PAC (Physical Activities Centre) where you usually write you exams, and I hear someone shouting, "I am and integral". It was some guy from my calculus class. He had gotten up from his seat, jumped on top of his desk, and made the integration sign with his arms (if you can picture that), and started yelling, "I am an integral". I don't think he handled stress well. Or maybe, he just didn't want to write anymore and was looking for a way out of the exam.

It worked.

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