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NHL Playoffs 2011


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Weeks after post-Stanley Cup riots ravaged downtown Vancouver, Police Chief Jim Chu announced Friday morning they believe the blame actually rests with one man – P.K. Subban.

In a news conference, Chu reiterated there was no way any Vancouver Canucks fans could possibly be involved in the riots, stating that it was all an elaborate plot carried out by the Montreal Canadiens defenseman.

“We have uncovered a diabolical plot,†Chu said. “We believe that the group of people responsible for the damage were disguised as Canucks fans, posing as anarchists under the umbrella of an underground Winnipeg Jets fan conspiracy set up by the Sutter family under the leadership of one P.K Subban.â€

Chu pointed to evidence recently released that suggests most bad things are Subban’s fault and stated that his department is actively investigating how he may have been involved in the Boston Bruins late series resurgence that ultimately netted them the Stanley Cup.

When it was suggested that a simpler explanation was a combination of organized anarchy and fan frustration that bubbled over, Chu scoffed.

“That’s just what a villainous mastermind like Subban would want you to think,†he said.

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