Rob Not Bob Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 Yes, this is a joke Rob Not Bob Fans Outraged at New Character in The Return of the King By Brian Briggs Wellington, New Zealand - A recently leaked trailer for The Return of the King has Tolkien fans outraged over the apparent addition of a new character - Jar-Jaromir. The scene depicted in the trailer shows Jar-Jaromir shouting, "Gondora gonna fallsa"; he then trips over a corpse and knocks down a couple of Uruk-hai. Producers of The Lord of the Rings trilogy confirmed the addition of the half-brother of Boromir and Faramir. "While The Two Towers is performing better at the box office than The Fellowship of the Ring, we are worried about a demographic that is skewing much older than desired. More mature fans are very good to have, but it's the younger fans who buy the merchandise. That's really what brings in the bucks on a movie like this," said producer Tim Wilcox. "People complained a lot about Gimli just being there for comic relief," continued Wilcox. "We answer that criticism by directing the humor through Jar-Jaromir in The Return of the King. There's this funny scene where Jar-Jaromir decides it's best to hand the ring over to Sauron, but then he drops it and kicks it into Mount Doom. Hi-larious." Purists, miffed by the deviations in The Two Towers, were so enraged by Jar-Jaromir as to be rendered speechless. A less pure, calmer fan who was able to form words said, "Tolkien mentioned a lot of different races and creatures, but never a Gungan or even a half-Gungan. I think I'm going to vomit." One fan tried to rationalize the move. "Maybe the Star Wars universe and Middle-earth intersect. Middle-earth certainly is a long time ago and why couldn't it be in 'a galaxy far, far away?' Nothing said it's our earth." He then broke down and started crying. Director Peter Jackson explained how the Jar-Jaromir character was added after all the other footage had already been shot. "That's the brilliant thing about digital editing and graphics. We didn't even imagine Jar-Jaromir in the movie until a couple of weeks ago, but now we can just edit him right into the key scenes. I really think it's going to be a hit with the toddlers." Jackson added, "I just love it when he shouts, 'Yousa steala precious from meesa!'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieDon'tSurf Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 along side Frodo Fett, this should be one for the history books!! the part where Sauron says "And no disintegrations!" and Frodo Fett just nods, knowingly, is kind of spine-tingling... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouche Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 That's pretty funny Bob. Good thing you reported that it was a joke, because there are alot of purists here that would not tolerate for such a deviation to the story, as much as they wouldn't tolerate a non-elfin drummer for Phish http://slate.msn.com/id/2076316/ "Phish has continued to delight in sticking out their tongues at the pretensions of the music world. This is a band, after all, whose elfin drummer plays in a dress decorated with giant orange LifeSavers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Low Roller Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 Star Wars and LOTR amalgamating would be a sick concept. Considering I'm bored at work and delusional caused by lack of sleep, I ask the following questions: 1- Rancor vs. Cave Troll 2- Gandalf vs. The Emperor 3- Aragorn vs. Luke Skywalker 4- Princess Leia vs. Eowyn 5- Hobbits vs. Ewoks 6- Jar Jar Binks vs. Gollum 7- Sarumon vs. Darth Vader 8- Gimli vs. Chewbacca 9- Legolas vs. Darth Maul 10- Yoda vs. Sauron WHO WOULD WIN? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieDon'tSurf Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 1- Rancor vs. Cave Troll... Rancor 2- Gandalf vs. The Emperor...if he can finish offMorgoth's Balrog, the Emperor is a cake walk. Gandalf! 3- Aragorn vs. Luke Skywalker...sorry, Luke would start bitchin about power converters and Anduril would cut the kid like butter. Aragorn. 4- Princess Leia vs. Eowyn I'd rather Leia, Eowyn and Amidala and a bottle of baby oil 5- Hobbits vs. Ewoks... Ewoks- if ya didn't include Merry, Pippin and Sam, otherwise Hobbits 6- Jar Jar Binks vs. Gollum... they already had this one, it was called Lewis vs. Tyson and Jar Jar played the role of Rag Doll Tyson 7- Sarumon vs. Darth Vader... Vader would have Sharkey's head in his hands before the dude could whip his palantir out! 8- Gimli vs. Chewbacca... love at first sight 9- Legolas vs. Darth Maul... after Maul covered the twenty yards between he and Legolas, pulled all the arrows out of his eye sockets, he'd remember he didn't have a torso 10- Yoda vs. Sauron...is this Sauron with the ring? and Muppet Yoda or digitally enhanced Yoda? Here's a couple others: Sam vs. R2D2 Eomer vs. C3P0 Faramir vs. Han Solo Merry and Pippin vs. Greedo and Salacious Crumb Elrond vs. Boba Fett Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Low Roller Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 And we musn't forget Oliphaunt vs. Bantha Sam vs. R2D2: Sam will strike first with an inneffective frying pan, but will quickly fall to R2's tazer. Eomer vs. C3PO: Draw. Both combatants are mauled by orcs. Faramir vs. Han Solo: The nerf herder cheapshots Faramir before the bell with a well placed phaser shot to the head. Hobbits vs. Bounty Hunters: Treebeard fucks everyone up. Elrond vs. Boba Fett: Both combatants discover that they are clones of one another, and unite to fight Mr. Anderson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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