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joke of the day


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OK OK i know its a bit crude but it tickled my funnybone

A man walks into a bar. By the bar is a sign that says:

"Cheese sandwich --- $1.50

Chicken sandwich --- $2.50

Handjob --- $10.00"

He looks in his wallet, and motions for one of the hot blonde waitresses to come over. "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Then go wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich."

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ok so that one was pretty bad,, heres a better one

While I was flying down the 401 to Toronto (only 10 mph over), I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?" I replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop said "What..... a rectum stretcher, and what does a rectum stretcher do?" I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide." The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge.

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