Davey Boy 2.0

Schwa's driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking, Sir?" "No. Why?" replies Schwa. "Was I all over the road?" "No," replies the officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat broad in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."

So Little Schwa. walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while his dad is reading the paper. "Where does poo come from?" he asks. The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old son is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says: "Well you know we just ate breakfast?" "Yes," answers Little Schwa. "Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the loo, and that is poo." Little Schwa. looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: "And Tigger?"

are you sure you weren't Puffin anything before this kitchen bird appeared?

maybe the bird was robin you

I find that hard to swallow

Attempts to breed a rare species of duck to avoid extinction in Britain have backfired after the only two remaining males fell for each other, Caroline Gammell reports in The Daily Telegraph. "Keepers at a bird sanctuary in West Sussex hoped that the last remaining female Blue Duck in the country - called Cherry - might mate with either of the drakes, Ben or Jerry. But neither male duck appeared interested and are now inseparable at the Arundel Wetland Centre, leaving Cherry to her own devices. Centre warden Paul Stevens said he was disappointed that efforts to produce new Blue Duck offspring had failed but said the two male birds made 'a lovely couple.' 'They stay together all the time, parading up and down their enclosure and whistling to each other as a male might do with a female he wants to mate with,' he said."

twittering is for twits

wear something sexy, MarcO

ollie's duck list: 1. talk to bank 2. talk to realtor 3. check out the market price 4. acquire drum kit 5. make bid 6. peking duck 7. move in

Building a greenhouse? Aloha' date=' Brad[/quote'] nicely done, Bradley

thanks for the link, will check it out at home

Schwa. lay in hospital covered in bandages head to foot - with just two little slits for his eyes. 'What happened to you?' asked Hal. 'I staggered out of the pub last night and a truck hit me a glancing blow and knocked me through a plate glass window.' 'Feck,' said Hal. 'It's a good job you were wearing those bandages or you'd have been cut to ribbons!'

Booche needs a drinkypoo, confirmed

i would've guessed that tossing fruit baskets are de rigueur for most evenings' activities at the Esau. residence

Shane McGowan's English, David north London accent ta boot

Spiced SPAM on white wonder bread with an extra thick slice of velveeta. 2L bottle of RC cola to wash it down Can't wait for my 3:00 chocolate bar

:thumbup:

chant of the week: "When the ball hits your head and you sit in row Z, that's Zamora!" — Bolton v Fulham

mmmmmm.... trading steamy licks

me? not too bad, boosed it up yesterday a bit but crashed and burned @ 9:30 as for bouche... I'm guessing he's lost the spring in his step today

don't beavers shed their tails in the spring?

how many weight watcher points is that meal?

Chloe?!?

awesome