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Area Couple In Heated Argument Over Video Selection

June 13, 2004

by Howard Sigman

Ottawa, ON - A local couple engaged in a public display of anger at the Bank Street Blockbuster video on Saturday. Observers reported the couple going from a mild discussion in a matter of minutes to a full-scale tiff

Trevor Turner, 26, and publically acknowledged 'main squeeze' Jonathan Godfrey, 27 were browsing aisles at the video store when the incident took place. Turner had selected POitch Black and Too Fast - Too Furious, while Godfrey expressed an interest in renting Mona Lisa Smile. The heated debate took place in the check out line, just as the couple was passing the lengthy overpriced impulse buying candy display.

"We always have to watch those stupid films with lots of explosions and no story!" said Godfrey. "Why can't we rent something that I want to see?"

"No way am I sitting through another chick flick, you dumb &unt!" retorted Turner.

"I hate you, you tiny prick!"

"Yeah, well bite me!" shouted Turner, at which point he reportedly made and obscene gesture at Godfrey.

The public display of anger attracted the attention of the store manager, 16-year old Ms. Shawanda Dervis. Ms. Dervis was on her break at the time, and observed the couple's tiff from a distance.

"I was on my break." Ms. Dervis told reporters.

Others in the line found the entire event unnerving.

"I was just here to rent There's Something About Mary for the 4th time. That Brett Favre is a hoot!" said nearby resident Fergus Sploid. "They was just talking normal, but then the girl started screaming and the guy started throwing boxes of Sour Patch Kids at her.

The couple reportedly stormed out of the store, lips tightly clenched, having rented none of the hotly debated titles, leaving analysists wondering if this was an isolated incident or a part of a larger, national trend.

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Since we're announcing things here, I figured this was a good time to let everyone know that I'm not happy as a man and have decided to get a sex change. I fly to Switzerland in two weeks and things look good. My doctor said that due to the smallness and shortness of my tiny member the procedure will take no time, in fact I'm so freekishly small that they're not even going to charge me!!! Instead they're going to make a European reality television show about it...I'm gonna be a star!!!

Only one problem, i have a medical condition known as LBS (Long Ball Syndrome) The cocksuckers go almost past my knees, I tell ya every morning I get a good chuckle when I look down there my wee little wang right next to those massive elephant nuts...good times, I'm gonna miss em. But I've been living a lie, I dream of being a ballet dancer, my long beautiful locks flowing as a I wisp across the stage, my ample bossom bouncing and heaving as some burly stud in tights throws me around......Whew I'm getting heated and moist :: :o

Not to worry folks all will be the same, trust me you'll hardly even notice a differece, even you Sally. all that will change is that I'll pee sitting down and my screen name will be change to "Bosheena Shanaynay- Queen of the Sea"

Kisses to you all ! :: ::

PS - anyone want the spare parts when I'm done....if not they're going on Ebay

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