Naked photos of Jessica Lynch

[AdamH]

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two

dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry,

gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood

and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton

fields

and never amounted to much - he became known as the lesser of two

weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in

the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank proving once again that you can't

have

your kayak and heat it too.

4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides

up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my

paw."

5.Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root

canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were

standing

in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about

an hour the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said,"I can't

stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes

to family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in

Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of

himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her

husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband

responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened

up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy

flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the

competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but

they would

not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

So, the

rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious

thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and

trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that...(are you ready) ..Hugh,

and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,

which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate

very

little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered

from bad breath. This made him ....(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's

good). A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to

his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make

them

laugh. No pun in ten did.

[SmellyPants]

Who's Jessica Lynch?

[SmellyPants]

Wow, Holy fuckin U.S. propaganda Batmam.

[AdamH]

The soldier who was dramtically rescued in a fine theatrical performance brought to you by the US of A. Apparently Larry Flynt bought nude photos of her to keep them from the public eye since she's a good american. Check the news searchers I'm sure you'll find out all you need to know about the depressingly uninteresting story.