Jump to content
Jambands.ca

That Is One High Guy!


zero
 Share

Recommended Posts

Here's another high guy (I grabbed this one from Phantasy Tour):

So I was a freshman in high school and I ate a couple amazing gel tabs... really some of the best acid i ever had my hands on...

and I used to take acid and go wonder about in the town and see what kind of trouble I could get into...

so this one night I'm completely faced... like my hand is sinking into brick walls and reconstructing major standing buildings and whatnot...

so I stumble into this McDonalds and run right into the bathroom... there I lock myself inside for about 2 hours, dispite knocking and managers asking if i'm ok... I basically just sat in there for a while talking to myself in the mirror and laughing at the toilet... every time a manager or somebody asked me if I was ok, I told them I was "undergoing changes" and then I would pretend to cry hysterically until they left me alone...

so finally I come out of the bathroom, every eye in the restaurant was on me... which wasn't too much because it was like 11:15 pm, and a tiny mcdonalds... but still there were like 10-15 people in there...

so I walk to the counter and order food in spanish to this little girl who didn't understand me... I'm clearly making her frustrated because she can't understand me, and I'm not even sure if I was ordering an arch delux (which was really hip at the time) or a sacrificial lamb... so finally I get this burger from her, it didn't matter what kind of burger it was, I wasn't very hungry... so I sat there at a table, and suddenly all the ceiling tiles start to turn into huge droplettes of tile, and they are slowly coming down towards the tables like molasis... I got under the table very slowly and calmly and whispered to the people at the table next to me that "everything would be ok" and to "follow my lead" or something like that...

so I get under the table, but then I get the notion that they have put all the tile molasis substance in their food, and that if I put it in my mouth, I would never be able to open my mouth ever again... and that would be horrible because my lips would be stuck together... so I decide that it is PHYSICALLY possible to eat the burger by absorbtion in my ankle... it was the only safe way of intake and ingestion... so basically I started cramming the burger into my right ankle as I sat under this table mumbling to myself about ceiling molasis...

needless to say, people around me were a little confused... so I see the manager start to aproach me, and I knew there would be trouble... but at that moment a thought hit me, and I got out from under the table and stood on my chair, and announced my theory aloud..something like "The manager of this fast food chain is trying to destroy the lord and savior Christ! Jesus never claimed that he would walk the Earth again in human form... Jesus has come back as a cow and has been butchered and sold to us on a seeded bun! It is only after we eat that we can absorb the true body of Christ, and now this gentleman is trying to take away my faith!"

of course I completely believed that I was really onto something with this thought, and that there was no way I could be looking like a fool... in fact I was filling these people in on one of the most important discoveries of our time... NOT TO MENTION that I also saved them from the goo the ceiling was dripping down...

The manager and 2 kitchen people came out from behind the counter and walked me outside where they then told me I was never allowed back ever again...

fuckin assholes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...