TTE: Plunderverse Edition

[TheAlphaNerd]

So I'm taking a creative / experimental writing class and we did an workshop involving plunderverse. A plunderverse is where you take a literary work such as a poem or song and sculpt a new poem / song out of it by creatively removing words.

Considering Time Turns Elastic is a giant mass of messy words I thought it would be fun to try and make some poetry out of it.

I stay too long and stare

outstretched, I wrap my arms

I'm turned to gold

Frozen I watch it

The fire crooked, trembling

The wind, the dark, and summers gone

It's time you finally see.

It never dies in memory,

streaming rays of blue

These sounds

Rhythm bleeding

The world lay on the ground

Run round.

come and carry me down

voices echo as the carousel ripples

Cascading mist by the water green

Bodies blossom around me

Gold, gleaming in daylight.

their voices ring on.

The mist arising

The carousel breaths

time in and time out

Elastic focus

time turns.

Credit: Time Turns Elastic by Phish

[c-towns]

I can't believe you didn't squeeze in submarine.

[TheAlphaNerd]

It's for a class... so it needed to have some artistic credibility...

[Basher]

It's for a class... so it needed to have some artistic credibility...

BAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAAA!

That's your line of the year brother.

[Basher]

By the way, I know nothing of poetry, but I like what you had there much better then the "non-artistically-credible" version Trey shat out.

[TheAlphaNerd]

Why thank you for the kind words mr basher

[TheAlphaNerd]

Made some changes

I stay too long and stare.

Outstretched, I wrap my arms;

I'm turned to gold.

Frozen I watch it.

The fire crooked, trembling.

The wind, the dark, and summers gone

It's time you finally see.

It never dies in memory,

streaming rays of blue

These sounds;

Rhythm bleeding.

The world lay on the ground.

Come and carry me down,

in this Cascading mist

By the water green.

Bodies blossom around me.

Gold, gleaming in daylight.

Their voices ring on.

The mist arising.

The carousel turns

Breath in, in, in... out.

[c-towns]

Made some changes

I stay too long and stare.

Outstretched, I wrap my arms;

I'm turned to gold.

Frozen I watch it.

The fire crooked, trembling.

The wind, the dark, and summers gone

It's time you finally see.

It never dies in memory,

streaming rays of blue

These sounds;

Rhythm bleeding.

They send me submarining.

Come and carry me down,

in this Cascading mist

By the water green.

Bodies blossom around me.

Gold, gleaming in daylight.

Their voices ring on.

The mist arising.

The carousel turns

Breath in, in, in... out.

[c-towns]

On a side note, why the hell aren't you at Old Crow?

[TheAlphaNerd]

I could ask you the same question

[c-towns]

I'm 700km's away.

[TheAlphaNerd]

um... me too