TheAlphaNerd Posted July 13, 2010 Report Share Posted July 13, 2010 So I'm taking a creative / experimental writing class and we did an workshop involving plunderverse. A plunderverse is where you take a literary work such as a poem or song and sculpt a new poem / song out of it by creatively removing words.Considering Time Turns Elastic is a giant mass of messy words I thought it would be fun to try and make some poetry out of it.I stay too long and stareoutstretched, I wrap my armsI'm turned to goldFrozen I watch itThe fire crooked, trembling The wind, the dark, and summers gone It's time you finally see.It never dies in memory,streaming rays of blueThese sounds Rhythm bleeding The world lay on the ground Run round. come and carry me down voices echo as the carousel ripples Cascading mist by the water green Bodies blossom around me Gold, gleaming in daylight. their voices ring on. The mist arisingThe carousel breathstime in and time out Elastic focustime turns.Credit: Time Turns Elastic by Phish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted July 13, 2010 Report Share Posted July 13, 2010 I can't believe you didn't squeeze in submarine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAlphaNerd Posted July 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 It's for a class... so it needed to have some artistic credibility... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basher Posted July 14, 2010 Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 It's for a class... so it needed to have some artistic credibility...BAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAAA!That's your line of the year brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basher Posted July 14, 2010 Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 By the way, I know nothing of poetry, but I like what you had there much better then the "non-artistically-credible" version Trey shat out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAlphaNerd Posted July 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 Why thank you for the kind words mr basher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAlphaNerd Posted July 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 Made some changesI stay too long and stare.Outstretched, I wrap my arms;I'm turned to gold.Frozen I watch it.The fire crooked, trembling.The wind, the dark, and summers gone It's time you finally see.It never dies in memory,streaming rays of blueThese sounds;Rhythm bleeding.The world lay on the ground.Come and carry me down,in this Cascading mist By the water green.Bodies blossom around me.Gold, gleaming in daylight. Their voices ring on. The mist arising.The carousel turnsBreath in, in, in... out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted July 14, 2010 Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 Made some changesI stay too long and stare.Outstretched, I wrap my arms;I'm turned to gold.Frozen I watch it.The fire crooked, trembling.The wind, the dark, and summers gone It's time you finally see.It never dies in memory,streaming rays of blueThese sounds;Rhythm bleeding.They send me submarining.Come and carry me down,in this Cascading mist By the water green.Bodies blossom around me.Gold, gleaming in daylight. Their voices ring on. The mist arising.The carousel turnsBreath in, in, in... out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted July 14, 2010 Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 On a side note, why the hell aren't you at Old Crow? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAlphaNerd Posted July 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 I could ask you the same question Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted July 14, 2010 Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 I'm 700km's away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAlphaNerd Posted July 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2010 um... me too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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