SevenSeasJim

You give me far to much credit.

Come on Lazlo, we know you are really Ron Jeremy. You just shaved off the stash.

Kreskin couldn't guess the length of my cock if I was smackin' him in the forehead with it.

You'll be fine.

Kreskin - "I feel a light breeze on my forehead"

Pick me instead. You could also patent the flavour.

yummy shit

So what, you're gonna follow people around, smelling their shit, looking for a lawsuit - and when you find a target, take a sample of their stool to your lawyer?

Sounds like a fantastic money-making venture!

Nope, I'm hiring you as my sniffing bitch :wink: (and i'm going to patent that as well)

I'm going to patent the smell of my shit. If anybody's smells like mine you owe me cold hard cash.

Humans are fucked. Ridiculous but not surprising.

I saw my first live wolf in the wild in November (Algonquin Park). Watched it for about 1/2 hour before it said "Fuck You" and wondered off.

I'm right on Hillary's chin.

You are a

Social Liberal

(71% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal

(11% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.

Your type is best described by the single word "composer", which belongs to the larger group, experiencers. You are very in touch with the physical world, and have an eye for detail. You are likely to be very artistic in some form or another. You don't wish to lead at all. Your attitude is very much "live and let live" to the point that others may have accused you of having no opinions or ambitions. You share your personality type with 10% of the population.

As a romantic partner, you are nuturing and supportive, often putting your partner's needs before your own. You struggle when you feel anger or resentment, because the last thing you want to do is engage in confrontation. You need patience, support, and encouragement to discuss problems in constructive ways (as opposed to not at all.) You want a deep and intimate connection with your partner. You feel most appreciated when your partner is grateful for your thoughtfulness and willingness to help. You most want your partner to reciprocate with spontaneous thoughtful acts to show you how important you are to them.

Is there a history of any of the following in you or your family?

- ugliness

hahahaaha - I didn't realize that this was a medical condition.

Lots of time left...

June 2052

at age 81

WHY YOU DIE?

56% heart attack

24% car accident

13% overdose

5% drowning of the lungs

2% wounds

My Dad always says to my Mom "Roll back the skin to win". This is his favorite time of the year.

For those of you in cubicle hell.

NEW YORK (FORTUNE Magazine) - Robert Oppenheimer agonized over building the A-bomb. Alfred Nobel got queasy about creating dynamite. Robert Propst invented nothing so destructive. Yet before he died in 2000, he lamented his unwitting contribution to what he called "monolithic insanity."

Propst is the father of the cubicle. More than 30 years after he unleashed it on the world, we are still trying to get out of the box. The cubicle has been called many things in its long and terrible reign. But what it has lacked in beauty and amenity, it has made up for in crabgrass-like persistence.

Full Article

That has nothing on this

I like the phrase, "army of prostitutes".

Send them into Iraq and the war/invasion would be over.

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- The combination of nail-biting soccer matches and crowds of beer-swilling males could mean hefty profits for Germany's sex industry.

It is deploying an army of prostitutes to satisfy the needs of libidinous fans during the month-long 2006 World Cup.

Some 1 million foreign visitors are expected to flood into Germany from June 9 and many expect large numbers of male spectators to wind down after a match in the arms of a prostitute or in the red light districts of the 12 host cities.

Hamburg's St. Pauli quarter, the country's largest and most famous red light district, is bubbling with optimism that it could be a bumper season for the legal sex industry.

But others have raised concerns that vulnerable women could be forced into prostitution to meet the expected demand.

"Football and prostitution are a great match," said Hans-Henning Schneidereit, owner of the St. Pauli's Safari Cabaret, renowned for its sex shows.

"You get lots of men at the right biological age and all fired up by a football match. What else could you hope for?"

Schneidereit said he expected 30 percent more customers during the tournament, adding that his forecast was conservative compared to those made by some of his rivals.

Police estimates tend to support his claim.

"Extrapolating from our experiences with big events like the Oktoberfest or trade fairs, it is fair to assume that a lot more ladies will hit the town during that time to cash in on the rising demand," said Gottfried Schlicht, police spokesman in the southern city of Munich, set to host six games.

More than 2,000 prostitutes work in greater Munich, Schlicht said, and he expected this number to rise by around a third when the "beautiful game" comes to the Bavarian city.

Fears of trafficking

Red light employers in Hamburg are already busy recruiting extra prostitutes and Berlin, which will host six of the 64 games, is also preparing to cash in.

Last autumn, a giant brothel decorated with tiger prints and red curtains opened in the city, close to the soccer stadium.

Prostitution is legal in Germany and sex workers can get health insurance, join the services union Verdi and pay into a pension plan. Surveys put the number of those working as full- or part-time prostitutes at around 400,000.

But thousands of women are also forced to work in the sex industry, and authorities are keen to crack down on this practice during the tournament.

More than 20 campaigns, using posters, flyers and cinema spots, will be launched across Germany this year to boost awareness of the problem of forced prostitution.

It is hard to establish how many women are forced to work as prostitutes -- most do not report it as they are afraid of retribution from their pimps or of being forced to return to a life of poverty at home -- but many of the known cases have come from eastern or central Europe.

According to the International Labor Organization (ILO) some 15,000 victims of trafficking work in Germany at any given time. ILO researcher Norbert Cyrus estimates that two-thirds of these are women of whom 90 percent end up as prostitutes.

The head of the German soccer federation, Theo Zwanziger, said this week that he had initially underestimated the problem of forced prostitution but was now throwing the group's weight behind efforts to raise awareness.

The European Union's justice commissioner said on Wednesday that he would propose to EU states in April that they introduce visas for travelers from countries that currently do not need them during the World Cup, as part of the fight against forced prostitution.

German media had reported in recent months that up to 40,000 women would be smuggled into the country to work as sex slaves during the World Cup, but experts and outreach groups like Ban Ying have dismissed this number as exaggerated.

Ban Ying, which offers help to victims of forced prostitution, and other such groups say with so many police guarding the borders, the influx is not likely to be that large.

'Good money'

Some say other prostitutes will travel to Germany willingly.

Mariska Majoor, a former prostitute and founder of a support center in Amsterdam's red light district, said women working in the Netherlands, which has one of Europe's most successful sex industries, would be sure to travel over the border.

"If they hear about good money to be made there and see colleagues coming back from Germany with high earnings, I am sure they will go," said Majoor."After all, they are self-employed and can decide when and where to work."

But some sex workers, like Sindy in Berlin, wonder what the fuss is about and are actually thinking of getting off the streets when the soccer circus comes to town.

"If you ask me, I don't know what they are all talking about," Sindy said, as she waited for customers on a Berlin street and wiped slush off her pink platform boots.

"I can tell you that most men who watch a soccer game also have quite a few beers and that's not exactly boosting their standing power, quite literally, which makes them serious cheapskates. Actually, I think this might be the right time for me to take a holiday."

....then I have to switch it off before I start craving an SUV.

hmmmmm' date=' I could go for a Hummer right about now.[/quote']

Hahaha....you've been waiting to say that one for a while.

My left testicle is 3 times larger than the right one now, but the vibrate feature just feels so nice.

Thanks for all the advice! I ended up going with AVG, and it seems to be doing what it ought to.

I did download Ad-Aware some time ago, and run it pretty often; it stuns me how often the computer gets saddled with spyware.

Quit surfing porn and you'll be OK :wink:

TSN.ca Staff

3/5/2006 2:14:05 PM

The Carolina Hurricanes have suffered a setback to their aspirations to win the Stanley Cup because winger Erik Cole has suffered a significant neck injury.

The Hurricanes announced Sunday that Cole has a compression fracture in a vertebra in his neck expected to miss at least the rest of the regular season.

Cole, who was hit from behind on Saturday by Penguins defenceman Brooks Oprik, was released from UPMC Presbyterian Hospital in Pittsburgh on Sunday and flown back to Raleigh for examination by Dr. Douglas Martini.

Orpik’s immediate future with the Penguins will be decided by the NHL, which is likely to suspend the Pittsburgh blueliner who was assessed a five-minute boarding major at 5:18 of the third period.

''I'm sure the league will follow up on it,'' Hurricanes' head coach Peter Laviolette said after the game. ''I just think people who have a history of putting other players in the league in vulnerable situations, there's no room for that. There's no room for (risking) somebody's well-being.''

Earlier in the game, Cole had scored a pair of goals, his 29th and 30th goals of the season, to go with 30 assists, and a plus-20 rating. Cole, along with centre Eric Staal, has been one of the Canes’ premier players this season.

The Hurricanes won't be able to effectively replace Cole in their lineup – he played on the team’s top line with Staal and Cory Stillman – but the Hurricanes have recalled winger Andrew Ladd, who has been playing well in the minors.

Veteran Doug Weight will move onto the top line with Staal and Stillman while Ladd will move into Weight’s position on a line with Rod Brind’Amour and Justin Williams.

In the good news department, Carolina is closer to getting centre Josef Vasicek back from reconstructive knee surgery. He's skating again and should be back in the Canes' lineup well before the end of the regular season.

Cole's injury, though, will no doubt cause the Hurricanes to look at potential replacements via the trade market before Thursday's 3 p.m. deadline for making moves.

and I mean lets face it if there's no porn then really who need birth control. :crazy:

fingers crossed it gets built.

HAHAHA....But just in case every store will be required to sell Chastity belts.

"Here, drink this kool-aid"

This sound like something many of you would enjoy :wink:

New Florida town would restrict abortion

CNN

NAPLES, Florida (AP) -- If Domino's Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan has his way, a new town being built in Florida will be governed according to strict Roman Catholic principles, with no place to get an abortion, pornography or birth control.

The pizza magnate is bankrolling the project with at least $250 million and calls it "God's will."

Civil libertarians say the plan is unconstitutional and are threatening to sue.

The town of Ave Maria is being constructed around Ave Maria University, the first Catholic university to be built in the United States in about 40 years. Both are set to open next year about 25 miles east of Naples in southwestern Florida.

The town and the university, developed in partnership with the Barron Collier Co., an agricultural and real estate business, will be set on 5,000 acres with a European-inspired town center, a massive church and what planners call the largest crucifix in the nation, at nearly 65 feet tall. Monaghan envisions 11,000 homes and 20,000 residents.

During a speech last year at a Catholic men's gathering in Boston, Monaghan said that in his community, stores will not sell pornographic magazines, pharmacies will not carry condoms or birth control pills, and cable television will have no X-rated channels.

Homebuyers in Ave Maria will own their property outright. But Monaghan and Barron Collier will control all commercial real estate in the town, meaning they could insert provisions in leases to restrict the sale of certain items.

"I believe all of history is just one big battle between good and evil. I don't want to be on the sidelines," Monaghan, who sold Domino's Pizza in 1998 to devote himself to doing good works, said in a recent Newsweek interview.

Robert Falls, a spokesman for the project, said Tuesday that attorneys are still reviewing the legal issues and that Monaghan had no comment in the meantime.

"If they attempt to do what he apparently wants to do, the people of Naples and Collier County, Florida, are in for a whole series of legal and constitutional problems and a lot of litigation indefinitely into the future," warned Howard Simon, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida.

Florida Attorney General Charlie Crist said it will be up to the courts to decide the legalities of the plan. "The community has the right to provide a wholesome environment," he said. "If someone disagrees, they have the right to go to court and present facts before a judge."

Gov. Jeb Bush, at the site's groundbreaking earlier this month, lauded the development as a new kind of town where faith and freedom will merge to create a community of like-minded citizens. Bush, a convert to Catholicism, did not speak specifically to the proposed restrictions.

"While the governor does not personally believe in abortion or pornography, the town, and any restrictions they may place on businesses choosing to locate there, must comply with the laws and constitution of the state and federal governments," Russell Schweiss, a spokesman for the governor, said Tuesday.

Frances Kissling, president of the liberal Washington-based Catholics for a Free Choice, likened Monaghan's concept to Islamic fundamentalism.

"This is un-American," Kissling said. "I don't think in a democratic society you can have a legally organized township that will seek to have any kind of public service whatsoever and try to restrict the constitutional rights of citizens."

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Early spring? Not likely for most, federal forecaster says

Last Updated Wed, 01 Mar 2006 13:55:57 EST

CBC News

Most Canadians will have to endure a very slow start to spring, according to Environment Canada's latest three-month forecast.

Environment Canada says most of the country will experience cooler than normal temperatures during the spring.

The agency predicts cooler than normal temperatures from the west coast clear through to Quebec over the next 90 days.

Maps on Environment Canada's website suggest Atlantic Canada and eastern regions of Canada's North will enjoy warmer than average temperatures in the next three months, however.

Dale Marciski at Environment Canada said "a late arctic vortex" that moved in on northern parts of Hudson Bay last month is to blame for the cold temperatures in southern Ontario and Western Canada.

"It's doing some very strange things," he said.

"It's pulling the cool air down across the Prairies and into Ontario, but on the other side it's pulling very warm air off the Atlantic.

"And actually, places like Iqaluit and Baffin Island are setting record warm temperatures lately."

The weather agency updates its three-month forecast at the beginning of every month, Marciski told CBC.ca.

But he warns that long-term forecasting is still an inexact science, especially when it comes to precipitation predictions.

"We don't have the same confidence levels in the monthly and seasonal forecasts as we do in the day-to-day forecasts that we issue," he said.

The forecast suggests that most of southern Ontario and central Manitoba and Saskatchewan will have a wetter spring than usual, while Newfoundland, Nova Scotia and most of the North will be drier than usual.

Well the leafs started back just like before the Olympic break.....sucking huge donkey dick