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SevenSeasJim

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  5. Illegal Immigration of Americans to Canada

    in Soundboard

    Posted · Edited by Guest

    Illegal immigration of Americans to Canada is getting out of hand.

    From the Manitoba Canada Herald

    The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has

    intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop

    the illegal immigration.

    The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning

    citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with

    Bill O'Reilly.

    Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology

    professors, animal- rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields

    at night.

    "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood

    producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose

    acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

    "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.

    When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show

    him my screenplay, eh "

    In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,

    but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare

    Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The

    liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they

    wouldn't give milk."

    Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals

    near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them

    across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

    A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario

    border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking

    water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

    When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often

    wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have

    been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education

    camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch

    NASCAR races.

    In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of

    crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus

    trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a

    half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration

    authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen

    passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were

    alive in the '50s.

    "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we

    get suspicious about their age," an official said.

    Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating

    an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the Susan Sarandon movies.

    "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't

    support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does

    one country need?

  6. Go Sens Go - Fan Forum

    in Rich Stadium

    Posted · Edited by Guest

    Downie gets 20 games.

    TSN.ca Staff

    9/28/2007 2:23:11 PM

    The National Hockey League has handed down its verdict on the Flyers' Steve Downie.

    Colin Campbell, the NHL's executive vice-president and director of hockey operations, has suspended Downie for 20 games for his vicious hit on Ottawa Senators forward Dean McAmmond in Thursday's exhibition game.

    The 20 games is the fifth longest suspension handed down by the league. New York Islanders' Chris Simon holds the longest at 25 games for his two-handed stick attack to the face of Ryan Hollweg of the New York Rangers last season.

    The Flyers were leading 2-1 when, at the 2:39 mark of the second, Downie skated the length of the ice and took a run at McAmmond, who had just released the puck while circling behind the Flyers' net and was met by Downie coming around the other side. Downie also appeared to leave his feet as he flattened the veteran.

    The jarring hit came moments after Downie was checked into the glass by Ottawa's Christoph Schubert in the Senators' zone.

    The 20-year-old prospect gained a reputation at the junior level for some nasty play, but following Thursday's game said the hit wasn't pre-meditated, nor did he intend to go for McAmmond's head.

  14. WWE Wrestler Chris Benoit found dead

    in Rich Stadium

    Posted

    ATLANTA (AP) -- Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife and smothered his son before hanging himself in his weight room, a law enforcement official close to the investigation told The Associated Press Tuesday.

    The official spoke on the condition of anonymity.

    Authorities also said they are investigating whether steroids may have been a factor in the deaths of Benoit, his wife and their 7-year-old son who were found dead in an apparent murder-suicide.

    Fayette County District Attorney Scott Ballard said test results may not be back for weeks or even months.

    Autopsies were scheduled Tuesday by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation in DeKalb County.

    Investigators believe Benoit (pronounced ben-WAH) killed his wife, 43-year-old Nancy, and son Daniel during the weekend and then himself Monday. The bodies were found Monday afternoon in three separate rooms of the house, off a gravel road about two miles from the Whitewater Country Club.

    Fayette County Coroner C.J. Mowell did not return calls seeking comment. The answering service for his funeral home said he was out of town.

    Authorities also declined to say whether drugs or steroids were found inside the house. "We're not releasing any information as far as what was located inside the house," sheriff's Sgt. Keith Whiteside said Tuesday.

    Asked about the condition of the interior of the house, Whiteside said investigators found "nothing really out of the ordinary." He said Benoit was found in the home's weight room, his wife in an office and the son in an upstairs bedroom.

    Whiteside said toxicology tests could take up to a week or longer to complete.

    Neighbors said the Benoits led a low-key lifestyle.

    "They were nice," said Lorre Jones, who lives across the street. Her daughter Alaina said: "We would see Chris walking in his yard from time to time. He wasn't rude, but he wasn't really outwardly warm."

    Jimmy Baswell, who was Benoit's driver for more than five years, placed a white wreath at the Benoits' gate Tuesday.

    "I saw him with his family all the time," said Baswell. "They always seemed like they were the happiest people."

    World Wrestling Entertainment said on its Web site that it asked authorities to check on Benoit and his family after being alerted by friends who received "several curious text messages sent by Benoit early Sunday morning."

    The WWE, based in Stamford, Conn., said it had been asked by authorities not to release further information on the deaths.

    Benoit, born in Montreal, was a former world heavyweight champion, Intercontinental champion and held several tag-team titles. His names in the ring included "The Canadian Crippler."

    "WWE extends its sincerest thoughts and prayers to the Benoit family's relatives and loved ones in this time of tragedy," the company said in a statement on its Web site.

    Benoit had maintained a home in metro Atlanta from the time he wrestled for the defunct World Championship Wrestling. The Fayette County Tax Assessors Office lists the value of the house, situated on more than 8.5 acres, at nearly $900,000.

    The WWE canceled its live Monday Night RAW card in Corpus Christi, Texas, and USA Network aired a three-hour tribute to Benoit in place of the scheduled wrestling telecast.

    Benoit's wife managed several wrestlers and went by the stage name "Woman." They met when her then-husband drew up a script that had them involved in a relationship as part of a story line on World Championship Wrestling, the newspaper said.

    Benoit has two other children from a prior relationship.

    Benoit became a standout at an early age among wrestling prospects who trained in the dungeon basement of the house where fellow Canadians and professional wrestlers Owen and Bret Hart trained. Owen Hart was killed during a wrestling event in 1999.

    "He was like a family member to me, and everyone in my family is taking it real hard," said Bret Hart, a five-time champion with the World Wrestling Federation. The federation has since changed its name to World Wrestling Entertainment.

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