MattyC

Here are a few small ones

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COFFEE AND VIAGRA

A mature woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive.

"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.

"Not a chance" says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."

"No problem" replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got

on."

A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and the doctor inquires as to how things went.

"Oh it was horrible, just terrible doctor."

"What happened?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table,

at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible."

"What's terrible?" asked the doctor. "Was the sex not good?"

"Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be able to show my face in Tim Horton's again.

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Comeback Line of the Year

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,

shakes her head, and sweetly says,

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Have a good trip boyz.. I have already notified my old pals in PEI of your appearance at Babba's. They should be out in full force..

Cheers,

Matty

Canada 4

The Swedes 3

Watch out for that pesky Sundin...

Go Canada Go!!!

When I get the afternoon blues at work I usually put on a little Fanklins Tower.. When I need to "roll away the dew"

In Memory of Liz Reed by the ABB for the car and Gov't Mule's Soulshine does it anytime for me..

Lets See, I have been here(Ottawa) about 5 months.. New to the sanct, but I would hazard to guess about 15..unfortunately I have a hard time remembering most of those.. (Hazy) Always a good time though... Whomever it may be..

and oh ya...

JSB took home some hardware...

Alternative Artist/Group of the year

Yeh, I got a chance to catch JSB at the awards show.. Great performance.. Hopefully they will continue to get some well deserved recognition..

Frieday was certainly a blast.. Good music, people, and especially tasty rum.. It was very hazy.. I got to see the bus Saturday in Kingston.. Another doozy.. Hey PEIPunk, if there are any rumours of another Grand Theft Buote tour, be sure to let us know..

Duckman could use a few more seasons.. What's Jason Alexander been doing?

Yep..The show is definitely on.. I was talking to the box office today and the show will be announce on Mon Jan 28, 10:00 am.. They had no info on cost or date..

Stephen Wright

Poor, Poor, Equador.. Fighting for their lives and in the 90th minute give themselves a shot to make it through only to lose on a coin toss.. hehehe.. Lucky Canadians..

Hopefully they can step it up in the next rounds..

Cheers to Jason deVos.. Takes a nasty blow to the head, bleeding like a stuck pig, goes to the sideline with no grimace on his face, they wrap him up and he's back on the field challenging for head balls.. Truly Canadian..

Hopefully their 'heart' can get them through this again.. Go Canada.!! Boo to Bob Lenadrousy

Good for Canada... Maybe these young guys can shock everyone and they can stop talking about all the injuries and retirements...

Question: Does anyone know of a indoor team looking for players.. I am new to ottawa and need to play some soccer... Thanks..

Wow, It WAS a great show.. JSB impress me more everytime out..

Here's to more Tuesday night rippers..!!

Cheers,

The other guy from PEI...