Pablo Sanchez

If they paid me $15, I might go.

I would take the browns over the bengals as a sure thing.

the bengals are shit. I figure if you bet against them all year you'll do fine.

the rams are no sure bet this year, they're living on golden memories.

looking forward to it

I wonder if TFOS wears their alien masks. I'm just imagining litres of sweat pouring out of them... yuk...

-OTTAWA CITIZEN

Boy's penis reattached after bitten off by donkey

Surgeons have managed to stitch back a Moroccan buy's penis after it was bitten off by a donkey, the official news agency reported yesterday. It did not say how the donkey managed to bite off the seven year old boy's penis.

Donkeys in Morocco are used for laborious work on farms and garbage collection and are often subjected to harsh treatment.

Red Ass Andy and The Rectum Rippers

nethermost civilization

Apple Sauce and The Drunken Monkeys

"Born to Lose"

"Chippendale Reject Squad"

"the inept dishwashers"

"lose skin"

"silencer"

"sweeps with a broom"

reminded me of this fine act....

Almost a year after residents of Delhi were terrorised by the alleged attacks of an elusive monkey-like creature, the eastern city of Patna says it too is facing similar attacks from an ape-like animal.

Local newspapers here are full of reports of "mysterious monkey attacks" but police have scotched the stories and warned of strict action against those spreading rumours.

"There are rumours of a monkey-like machine, referred to as monkey-man that attacks those sleeping on rooftops and in open places at night," ON Bhaskar, Patna's police chief said.

"But it is a pure rumour as no one has actually lodged a case in any police station. There has not been any recognized case of injury. We have warned the public at large to be on guard against any rumour and help cops arrest those who spread such rumours."

Residents of Patna however were not reassured, with local newspapers headlining quotes from eyewitnesses and victims of the "monkey man".

"The monkey-man attacked and injured my son-in-law Joginder Singh Friday night when he was sleeping on the rooftop of my house," a newspaper quoted Bhagwat Sharan Singh of Patna's Mainpura colony as saying.

"He (the attacker) looked like a monkey." Some even alleged the creature "jumps and sparkles red and blue lights". Others described it as resembling a machine, operated by a remote control and "handled by anti-social elements to terrorise people".

Police chief Bhaskar said hospitals and doctors had been asked to report any case of injury attributed to the mysterious creature. Meanwhile, fear of the "monkey man" took an ugly turn when a group of people beat up a Hindu Sadhu (saint) with a flowing beard, on suspicion that he was the creature.

The incidents reported in Patna seemed almost identical to the attacks reported in the Indian capital last May, when for more than a month, a "mysterious monkey-like creature" besieged New Delhi.

Descriptions agreed the creature was "black" and "ape-like" with "sharp claws," but varied on its height, with some reporting it was over six feet tall with red eyes, while others said it was about two feet tall.

BBC-An asteroid discovered just weeks ago has become the most threatening object yet detected in space.

A preliminary orbit suggests that 2002 NT7 is on an impact course with Earth and could strike the planet on 1 February, 2019 - although the uncertainties are large.

Astronomers have given the object a rating on the so-called Palermo technical scale of threat of 0.06, making NT7 the first object to be given a positive value.

From its brightness, astronomers estimate it is about two kilometres wide, large enough to cause continent-wide devastation on Earth.

Many observations

Although astronomers say the object definitely merits attention, they expect more observations to show it is not on an Earth-intersecting trajectory.

This asteroid has now become the most threatening object in the short history of asteroid detection

Dr Benny Peiser

It was first seen on the night of 5 July, picked up by the Linear Observatory's automated sky survey programme in New Mexico, US.

Since then astronomers worldwide have been paying close attention to it, amassing almost 200 observations in a few weeks.

Could it be deflected?

Dr Benny Peiser, of Liverpool John Moores University in the UK, told BBC News Online that "this asteroid has now become the most threatening object in the short history of asteroid detection".

NT7 circles the Sun every 837 days and travels in a tilted orbit from about the distance of Mars to just within the Earth's orbit.

Potential devastation

Detailed calculations of NT7's orbit suggest many occasions when its projected path through space intersects the Earth's orbit.

Researchers estimate that on 1 February, 2019, its impact velocity on the Earth would be 28 km a second - enough to wipe out a continent and cause global climate changes.

However, Dr Peiser was keen to point out that future observations could change the situation.

He said: "This unique event should not diminish the fact that additional observations in coming weeks will almost certainly - we hope - eliminate the current threat."

Easily observable

According to astronomers, NT7 will be easily observable for the next 18 months or so, meaning there is no risk of losing the object.

Observations made over that period - and the fact that NT7 is bright enough that it is bound to show up in old photographs - mean that scientists will soon have a very precise orbit for the object.

Dr Donald Yeomans, of the US space agency's (Nasa) Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California, told BBC News Online: "The orbit of this object is rather highly inclined to the Earth's orbit so it has been missed because until recently observers were not looking for such objects in that region of space."

Regarding the possibility of an impact, Dr Yeomans said the uncertainties were large.

"The error in our knowledge of where NT7 will be on 1 February, 2019, is large, several tens of millions of kilometres," he said.

Dr Yeomans said the world would have to get used to finding more objects like NT7 that, on discovery, look threatening, but then become harmless.

"This is because the problem of Near-Earth Objects is now being properly addressed," he said.

Pimps and Hos sounds like the best idea so far

The shows page has just been updated. There's lots more to come for August.

http://www.neroland.com/shows.html

yes it will be very interesting seeing who wants to play seeing as no one is getting paid.

nero @ River City Pub, Revelstoke, British Columbia

After the best night's sleep so far this tour, four happy souls pointed their bus north and hit the road for Revelstoke. I was fortunate to have Jay offer to drive, so I got a chance to fully appreciate the beauty of this part of the country. For those that have made this drive, you know what I'm talking about. For those that are unfamiliar, it's an indescribable journey among mountains that Hollywood can only attempt to copy. Very majestic; very humbling. A stop in Golden for lunch and to replace a headlight and in no time we were in Revelstoke.

Nice town, nice pub, great hotel rooms (onsite!). There was no house PA so we got a chance to try our own shiny new speakers, and they sound great. Especially when the speakers are powered by a band like nero. The guys played really well, falling into that get-better-every-freakin'-time-they-play category. Unfortunately, for the second straight night the beauty was lost to the masses, as the masses weren't there. The place wasn't empty, and there were a handful of people grooving, but it's funny to be an almost solitary witness to such a great pile of music. One thing for sure, nero is getting better at playing to small crowds. Here's hoping that's a skill they won't be needing much longer.

By all reports Nelson is supposed to be great, so we're all looking forward to the weekend.

Quote of the Day: "Condom?"

I

Holetown Charlie>

Oregano Mice

Wata Bug>

Miko Mard

Moby's Dream>

Lemondust

II

Condor>

Gordon's Revenge>

Chocolate Monkey Machine

Flurmy>

Centragnome>

Flurmy

401 Theme

as you can probably see.... we're all doing absolutely nothing at work(at the mall for shane)just waiting to get away from it all....

I think I've put on about a thousand hits on this site in the last two days..

when were gone we may not be responding to posts(I'm sure GM will find a way) , but you can shine the giant sausage light (located in our backyard)to the southeastern sky and neroboy we fly in on shane's wheelchair.

yippeeeeeee!!! kyyyyayyy!

shane is officially retired as well. He just got himself a powered wheelchair, and he now spends his days doing laps of the mall and looking up schoolgirls skirts.

spontaneous invisibility ... it happens

they also mentioned that night that "Canadians drink to much and drinking is bad bad bad.....

and thats whats really wrong with this country..."

thanks for coming out asshole!

last time they were here part of the "group" was not allowed across the border. The band made it, but apparently there is a little circus that travels with them, and well you know how it goes with circus performers

Howler,

I would suggest ordering some miracle water. You can never be too sure, but if miracle water can cure cancer it can get you your grant

I'm going to have to disagree here...

Its all about beer

Wonder no more wonder boy...

its all about BEER!

and hockey

B to the E to the power of 10 to R

what does that spell?

beer, that's right

beer, you know you want it

beer, beer, beer, its good

its all about BEER!

Everyone is saying earthquake today..... I say conspiracy!

I didn't feel anything