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Friday funny


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70 above

Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.

People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes.

60 above

North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.

People in Canada plant gardens.

50 above

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Canada sunbathe.

40 above

Italian & English cars won't start.

People in Canada drive with the windows down.

32 above

Distilled water freezes.

Lake Superior's water gets thicker.

20 above

Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.

People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above

Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.

People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold.


People in Miami all die...

Canadians lick the flagpole.

20 below

Californians fly away to Mexico.

People in Canada get out their winter coats.

40 below

Hollywood disintegrates.

The Girl Scouts in Canada are selling cookies door to door.

60 below

Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.

Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets

cold enough.

80 below

Mt. St. Helens freezes.

People in Canada rent some videos.

100 below

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

Canadians get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

297 below

Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.

Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands.

460 below

ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).

People in Canada start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below

Hell freezes over.

The Leafs win the Stanley Cup!


Ah, some days I hate my job, some days I love it. Like today for instance, casino for lunch then go-carting. Not too shabby.

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