Heady's Vegas Vacation

[Heady Epic]

As most of you know or dont know, Heady Epic was in Vegas last weekend, rode back to LA, went to SanFran, hit up Eugene, and now I am somewhere where I dont know where I am. Too many pills will do it to you, but the other thing that will kill you is women. You cant have enough of them, but I thought I was close to getting full as I ever had been. If you havent been to Vegas, book your flight now. I promise, you'll get laid by whatever you want. I was laying around the Mandalay Bay, ran into Trey, and he wanted a piece of Heady. Thats how easy it is, of course, I aint no moe. so I said no. Who doesnt want Heady? That sick bastard was sick the whole weekend, and needed some rest. He had no idea what I would have done to his voice. If you thought it was bad, you cant imagine a pound of Heady's epic squirting into Mr C-Norris's vocal slabbery. Besides, by the looks of things, he had enough junk sliding down his throat. That was the biggest lesson. Dont go to Vegas sober, or you will see more wasted pukes than a Kennedy Reunion. Speaking of which, Girls Girls Girls is the worst cover Phish have ever done. It was the longest fart I have ever heard. As sad as this may sound, I started to think that Trey and his band are starting to lose it. The first set of the run was kinda useless as well, but I was doped up, so who cares? Summer tour sucks, aint enough shows so I gotta find a way to stay on the road. Vegas always makes me feel flat at the final whistle, which is usually some pig telling me to "Get up, this aint a place for skaters to sleep" The heady end of another Phish run is the harbinger of warmless months of high self-esteem and bitter rants about the uselessness of anything non-Heady Epic. Watching wookettes doing the invisible cube dance to a crappy tune is not the way I want to spend the warmth of nature's wet and sloppy summer cunt, cause TreyBand pisses me off cause it aint no Phish. Reminds me of last year, had a chick at Merriweather on the lawn squat down directly in front of me and piss. She was barefoot of course and spent the rest of the show dancing in her own piss. About 8 people recoiled when she pulled up the patchwork skirt and laid it down. She acted like nothing happened, and she had 70's bush. As I was saying, the first set didn't flow at all... lots of really long breaks, and Trey looked like he had a pound of smack in'em. That DMB light guy messed with everyones head, and CK needs to take a break from rehab, blow his nose and then start pounding some blow up it again. The worst part of all, these newbies were telling me how great the show was during setbreak, so I grabbed their gameboy, threw it at Fenton, punched each one in the face and poured my beers on the bruises. You dont get a refund if you over-pay, and I wanted something back for my 50$. I know they were just kids, but I kicked their fucking pube-less asses. When Wilson roared around later in the weekend, I changed my chant to "F U C K Y O U!" Something was seriously missing during the run, but then again, it wasnt. It made me want to hit people, and strangers or anybody and then I was thinking how about in AC/DC Bag when they sing 'put them in a field, and let them fight it out..' at this point it is a total free -for-all when you can just wail on people with no mercy for a few minutes... you know, people in the show you have been eyeing and stuff. So, I'm grooving and some kids come up to me and ask if I am going to go on Trey Tour this summer. I told the pukes that I'm so boycotting TAB...I have all my signs ready to go. I hate bonnaroo .but you know WHY i'm going? To boycott TAB and to show everyone that if they continue to support Trey's Solo Projects that Phish will go on haitaus again! The good thing being there was the ton of vaginal representation in Vegas. I think every room I stayed in had more drippy sticks than not, so most of the ladies loved Heady, as usual. I think it was the middle night, and I followed these Frat fucks to their room. They had some fine meat with them, and on a few occasions, the ladies and I would play a round of beating the bishop when the guys werent looking. I actually let go a dishonorable discharge on one of the boys toys, his new Phish shirt he paid 45$ for. Serves you right so let me clean my meatstick with it. It was so obvious these guys were chronic pud-puller's, so I was sticking around for some jizz mopper-action with the girls that I hadnt had Headys way with yet. One of the bitches was hot, but really had a stick in her ass. When everyone wasnt paying attention, I tried my way with her, but she started crying about some boyfriend back in Connecticut. I tried the "I'm sure your pimp isn't going to let you go, you bring him too much money and make a good punching bag to boot." approach, but it didnt work. So, one of the Frats come by, and starts railing on me. He got a piece of my fists, with me yelling over top of him "I'd punch the tips of frozen hotdogs into your ass until they pulled your intestines inside-out. It is kinda like when you get your tongue stuck to a frozen pole in the winter time, but then again, who am I telling about sticking their mouth on poles." I left, found some moe hoes on the way back from the Hard Rock, so I crashed their pad and gave some of my hard-cock. I spit the kids onto the entry-level fluffers back, and crashed until the last show, which was alright, but all I could now think of was the word on the street about this Vermont festival that is being planned. Phish is very pro-vermont. I could easily see them being stoked about a recording session and driving up as group, holding hands, and signing sing-alongs. There was more jamming during the last night, so I made my way up front. Trey looked at me, as if to say "You sluts ready for some jam action? Got any balls out there for the Big Ball Jam?", "Are there any balls down there? so I yelled back "About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry" Heady doesnt go to the shows for girls anyways. I usually have a hard enough time trying to find my way out of the venue, but I never count myself out of the game either, so, at the end of the Vegas-run, I stumbled around the strip yelling "Who's going west? I'll get you so high you won't even know you're driving" until I got picked up by these three ladies from LA.

For the record:

The green doc belongs to Page. Trey was simply using it for the easter jam.

He pawned his for you know what.

[guigsy]

ahhh, sounds like a lovely vacation...

[MarcO]

He's writing for Lonely Planet now......

[guigsy]

GODDAMMIT!

first hockey play-offs, and now this news... definately the time of year to wish you had cable..

[Pootie Tang]

As most of you know or dont know, Heady Epic was in Vegas last weekend, rode back to LA, went to SanFran, hit up Eugene, and now I am somewhere where I dont know where I am. Too many pills will do it to you, but the other thing that will kill you is women. You cant have enough of them, but I thought I was close to getting full as I ever had been. If you havent been to Vegas, book your flight now. I promise, you'll get laid by whatever you want. I was laying around the Mandalay Bay, ran into Trey, and he wanted a piece of Heady. Thats how easy it is, of course, I aint no moe. so I said no. Who doesnt want Heady? That sick bastard was sick the whole weekend, and needed some rest. He had no idea what I would have done to his voice. If you thought it was bad, you cant imagine a pound of Heady's epic squirting into Mr C-Norris's vocal slabbery. Besides, by the looks of things, he had enough junk sliding down his throat. That was the biggest lesson. Dont go to Vegas sober, or you will see more wasted pukes than a Kennedy Reunion. Speaking of which, Girls Girls Girls is the worst cover Phish have ever done. It was the longest fart I have ever heard. As sad as this may sound, I started to think that Trey and his band are starting to lose it. The first set of the run was kinda useless as well, but I was doped up, so who cares? Summer tour sucks, aint enough shows so I gotta find a way to stay on the road. Vegas always makes me feel flat at the final whistle, which is usually some pig telling me to "Get up, this aint a place for skaters to sleep" The heady end of another Phish run is the harbinger of warmless months of high self-esteem and bitter rants about the uselessness of anything non-Heady Epic. Watching wookettes doing the invisible cube dance to a crappy tune is not the way I want to spend the warmth of nature's wet and sloppy summer cunt, cause TreyBand pisses me off cause it aint no Phish. Reminds me of last year, had a chick at Merriweather on the lawn squat down directly in front of me and piss. She was barefoot of course and spent the rest of the show dancing in her own piss. About 8 people recoiled when she pulled up the patchwork skirt and laid it down. She acted like nothing happened, and she had 70's bush. As I was saying, the first set didn't flow at all... lots of really long breaks, and Trey looked like he had a pound of smack in'em. That DMB light guy messed with everyones head, and CK needs to take a break from rehab, blow his nose and then start pounding some blow up it again. The worst part of all, these newbies were telling me how great the show was during setbreak, so I grabbed their gameboy, threw it at Fenton, punched each one in the face and poured my beers on the bruises. You dont get a refund if you over-pay, and I wanted something back for my 50$. I know they were just kids, but I kicked their fucking pube-less asses. When Wilson roared around later in the weekend, I changed my chant to "F U C K Y O U!" Something was seriously missing during the run, but then again, it wasnt. It made me want to hit people, and strangers or anybody and then I was thinking how about in AC/DC Bag when they sing 'put them in a field, and let them fight it out..' at this point it is a total free -for-all when you can just wail on people with no mercy for a few minutes... you know, people in the show you have been eyeing and stuff. So, I'm grooving and some kids come up to me and ask if I am going to go on Trey Tour this summer. I told the pukes that I'm so boycotting TAB...I have all my signs ready to go. I hate bonnaroo .but you know WHY i'm going? To boycott TAB and to show everyone that if they continue to support Trey's Solo Projects that Phish will go on haitaus again! The good thing being there was the ton of vaginal representation in Vegas. I think every room I stayed in had more drippy sticks than not, so most of the ladies loved Heady, as usual. I think it was the middle night, and I followed these Frat fucks to their room. They had some fine meat with them, and on a few occasions, the ladies and I would play a round of beating the bishop when the guys werent looking. I actually let go a dishonorable discharge on one of the boys toys, his new Phish shirt he paid 45$ for. Serves you right so let me clean my meatstick with it. It was so obvious these guys were chronic pud-puller's, so I was sticking around for some jizz mopper-action with the girls that I hadnt had Headys way with yet. One of the bitches was hot, but really had a stick in her ass. When everyone wasnt paying attention, I tried my way with her, but she started crying about some boyfriend back in Connecticut. I tried the "I'm sure your pimp isn't going to let you go, you bring him too much money and make a good punching bag to boot." approach, but it didnt work. So, one of the Frats come by, and starts railing on me. He got a piece of my fists, with me yelling over top of him "I'd punch the tips of frozen hotdogs into your ass until they pulled your intestines inside-out. It is kinda like when you get your tongue stuck to a frozen pole in the winter time, but then again, who am I telling about sticking their mouth on poles." I left, found some moe hoes on the way back from the Hard Rock, so I crashed their pad and gave some of my hard-cock. I spit the kids onto the entry-level fluffers back, and crashed until the last show, which was alright, but all I could now think of was the word on the street about this Vermont festival that is being planned. Phish is very pro-vermont. I could easily see them being stoked about a recording session and driving up as group, holding hands, and signing sing-alongs. There was more jamming during the last night, so I made my way up front. Trey looked at me, as if to say "You sluts ready for some jam action? Got any balls out there for the Big Ball Jam?", "Are there any balls down there? so I yelled back "About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry" Heady doesnt go to the shows for girls anyways. I usually have a hard enough time trying to find my way out of the venue, but I never count myself out of the game either, so, at the end of the Vegas-run, I stumbled around the strip yelling "Who's going west? I'll get you so high you won't even know you're driving" until I got picked up by these three ladies from LA.

For the record:

The green doc belongs to Page. Trey was simply using it for the easter jam.

He pawned his for you know what.

Dude, you're an idiot..you talk like one of those stinky american phish heads.

[goldengrooves]

HAHAHA....i read this this morning and have been waiting all day for the replies...LMAO

[weezy]

He's writing for Lonely Planet now......

LOL!

[NewRider]

it's jared with a dictionary

[ggrtrhhrtgg]

it's jared with a dictionary

hhaaahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

[MarcO]

A Heady Epic sighting is like seeing Halley's Comet (the rock, not the song) or secondtubes's pubes - enjoy them while you can because they don't come around very often!

Which is in and of itself a good thing!