open letter to the guy that stole my bike

[Bob_Vila]

open letter to the guy that stole my bike

((--based loosely on the KITH skit, but infact a true story about my day yesterday, the loss of the best bike i ever had (right off my roofrack in the work parkinglot in the middle of the day!!), and a forum for the venting of my anger. GRRR!--))

"Well, why did you do it? Are you some sort of jerk or something? It's *my* bike! What did you think, that I'd -- drive home and not notice it was stolen? What are you then? Some sort of *prick*? Some sort of *idiot*? Some sort of *thief*? You *human loser*! Well, why didn't you buy your own bike if you wanted one so badly. That's what I did.

Well, well, what were you thinking?! *JERK*!"

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Open Letter to the fellow employees *Who Watched* the Guy Steal My Bike

"Well, you knew it wasn't his bike! What did you think? He was inspecting it? Doing service work? Fixing the lock for me?!? Well, why didn't you do something? Why didn't you say something? You human piece of apathy! Why didn't you say, "Hey! That's not your bike!" Well, didn't you think I needed it? I did! Good work, Einstein! Pus!"

i feel better now... not really.

[Large Marge]

:(sh!tty deal... did you have it registered with the fuzz?

Maybe this will serve as a reminder to the rest of us to take care of that painintheass but nonetheless important task...

Toronto Registry

[SevenSeasJim]

Sorry Dave, but Bruce is my favorite. What are you a "human loser" / "Puss"/ "Didn't you think I needed it"

[bokonon]

yes, this open letter goes to the a$$hole who stole my bike from my backyard (it was chained to the stairs) probably to pawn for crack money as well. yes, i have caught people smoking crack in the yard next door, even though nobody lives there.