The Iraqi Hockey Player

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Toronto coach Pat Quinn sends scouts out around the World looking for a new center to hopefully help win Toronto the Stanley Cup.

One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi center who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So, Pat flies to Iraq to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to the ACC.

Two weeks later Toronto are down 4-0 at home to Montreal with only 8 minutes left. Pat gives the young Iraqi center the nod to go on and he

puts him on in place of Sundin. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 8 minutes and wins the game for Toronto.

The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When he comes off the ice he phones his Mom to tell her about his first day in the NHL "Hi Mom, guess what?" he says. "I played for 8 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I score 5 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me".

"Great," says his Mom, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time".

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mom, but I'm so sorry". "Sorry?!" says his Mom, "It's your damned fault that we moved to

Scarborough in the first place!