******breaking news*****

[CyberHippie]

******breaking news*****

Following Trey Anastasio's statement on Phish.com that the upcoming Coventry festival would be Phish's last ever shows, there has been a rash of follow up statements from various camps in the jamband world.Sources at Madison House denied that Michael Kang has left String Cheese Incident to front a new band known as Phosh, consisting of Kang, Fishman, McConnell and Gordon. "thats ridiculous", said a Madison House spokesperson. "Anyone who listens to Kang play knows he's never even heard of these other people".

Sources at Phish management denied the rumour that McConnell, Gordon and Fishman had asked to audition for the Trey Anastasio Band, rumored to be touring supporting a new album in the fall. "Aren't they already IN that band ? Oh, hang on a sec.." said a confused spokesperson.

In other news, several bands have cancelled dates scheduled for the weekend in August of the Coventry festival . Jimmy D-Dog, lead singer of local Wisconsin jamband "Hot Diggedy" was saddened that they would have to cancel their annual local "420 every hour on the hour" festival. "Everyone who bough advanced tickets has called for a refund", he said glumly. " Theyre all going to Vermont now. Even Stinky our bass player just bought Coventry Tickets".

Rumors of what the other three who arent Trey are going to do next abound. Mike Gordon is rumored to be joining NE legends Max Creek, prompting existing Creek bass player John Rider to remark "Oh crap, i knew this day would come. Its just a matter of time now". McConnell is rumored to be planning to get down on his knees and beg to be allowed into the Trey Anastasio Band, while Fishman apparently is getting ready to launch a "spiffy new line of man dresses that play my solo stuff when you stand under running water". This has apparently confused many Phish fans, who have been asking what this "running water" stuff is.

A Phish spokesman said "the other members of Phish will no doubt continue to make very successful music with their own bands", though several people could be heard giggling in the background.and of course, the big question is "whats next for Trey?" Varying rumors have Trey joining Dave Matthews full time, Trey replacing Dave Matthews in the Dave Matthews Band (to be renamed the Trey Matthews Band) while Mr Matthews runs off to Hawaii with Emmylou Harris, and Trey taking 6 months off to smoke his money. The BIG rumor involves Trey joining Warren Haynes in a supergroup called "Trey, Warren and the other guys (does it really matter who?)", called "Trey and Warren" for short , who will be introduced at a concert produced by Superfly. Superfly are said to be negotiating to hire Staten Island for a week long festival headlined by the two megasupergiants of the jam. Staten Island will be renamed "Wookie Island" for the festival. In a related story, Phish have now apparently expanded the site of the upcoming Coventry festival, to accomodate the expected mass influx of Phans wanting to catch a last glimpse of their heroes. the new new site for the festival is no w apparently "the greater Vermont area".

String CHeese Incident have apparently reversed their booking trend and are now once again booking large sheds and ampitheaters for the fall. When this reporter called Madison House for comment , there was apparently a party going on in the offices, and whoever answered the phone was unhappy that i "wasnt the noisemakers dude". When asked what effect Phish's permamnent retirement might have on String Cheese Incident, the answerer just had one word : "Yeeeehaw!!!". more news as we have it....................www.tonguefirmlyincheek.com