Jokes and stuff

[MoMack]

I was reading Phantasy Tour's WSP forum and besides seeing DimaFleck spreading the positive vibes with a "wsp sucks" post in a wsp forum (and that was the whole post, at least the other folks explain why they think that) there was a good joke... I lifted it:

"After Trey Anastasio dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes

him on a tour. He shows Trey a little two bedroom house with a

Phish banner hanging from the front porch.

This is your house, Trey. Most people don't get their own

houses up here, God says.

Trey looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the

one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge two-story mansion with

white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. Tie-died

flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge Widespread Panic

banner hangs between the marble columns.

Thanks for the house, God. But, let me ask you a question. I

get this little two bedroom house with a faded banner and John Bell

gets a mansion with brand new Widespread Panic banners and flags flying

all over the place. Why is that?

God looks at him seriously for a moment, then with a smile,

God says, That's not John's house, it's mine!"

[boiler]

Trey is going to heaven? I thought he might have sold his soul.

[MoMack]

Trey is going to heaven? I thought he might have sold his soul.

He's not THAT good!

[Schwa.]

What do you call a guy that always hangs around with musicians?

the drummer (ba-dump-bump)

[Ol'Hickster]

Two Twin Brothers die when there house caves in, and the one brother awakes at the beautiful Pearly gates of Heaven and is welcomed with open arms, so he walks around for a couple days and, notices there is no sign of his brother at all, so he ask's God, "God Where is my Brother I havent seen him anywhere here?"

"Ah, My son, You havent seen your brother here because he has gone to hell" Said God.

"God I Love my Brother soo much and I would like to see him and at least say good bye" the Brother replied

So God sends the brother to hell for half a hour to say his good byes and such. When the brother arrives He is shocked! He sees his brother laying back on a lawn chair, with a frosty beer in hand and Beautiful Naked Women running and dancing around everywheres! So he walks over and starts talking to his brother, not understanding any of what is happening around him, He asks his brother

" Hey while Im here Why dont you pass me a beer"

So the second brother tosses a cold beer from the icy cooler and the first brother says

"What the Heck there is no holes in this beer can?!"

And the Second brother looks over and says

" Of Course there isnt! There arnt any on the women either, this is hell!"

[Ol'Hickster]

There are three mothers sittin around the coffee table, A Brunette, A Redhead, and a Blonde chit chatting about life and there daughters.

The Red Head starts off saying

" The other day I found a bottle of cigerettes in my daughters back pack, I cant belive she is smoking!"

The Brunette replys

" Oh yea the other day, I found a bottle of Vodka in my daughters Back pack! I cant belive she is Drinking!

Finally the Blonde replies

"Oh yea! Well I found a box of CONDOMS in my daughters back pack!....... I cant belive it, She has Penis!!!!"

[AWeeJig]

The following joke should be used after overhearing a racial slur, or a barrage of racist jokes.

What do you a call a pakistani flying a plane?.....

A pilot you fucking racist!

[Ol'Hickster]

In that note from the other side of the fence I heard this one the other day, a bunch of Jew Jokes and stuff were being passed around, and one of the guys at the pub turned around and looked at the guys telling the jokes and said

" Hey Fuck You guys!, My Great Grand Father Died at Auschwitz!" And they guys telling the jokes got all quite and you know where heads down and were feeling like shit. Then the guy turned and returned to his beer and said

" Yea He Fell off of the Watch-tower"