So I get this email.... (HIlarious Content)

[TheAlphaNerd]

So I do a bit of film work here and there including script development... So a friend of mine who is a struggling musician sends me his idea...

This is what I got.

BTW, this whole script was written with my buddy as the main character, playing himself... name has been changed to protect his identity

Oh ya, you guys are all interested in tv and scripts and stuff so it might be good for you guys to know each other as well.

(The movie starts from a first person view of the main character, Paul. He looks down and pulls out a futuristic phone from his pocket. He looks at it, scrolls up, through tons of text messages from girls, including some with famous names, saying how badly they want him. One of the messages says “Fuck Youâ€. Paul opens it and there is a video of an extremely attractive half-naked girl saying “How could you leave me, after the night we had together, you didn’t even call. You are a genius, but you’re a pr…†Paul closes the phone and continues to scroll up through messages from hot girls.

He gets to the top and there is a message saying “You’re lateâ€. Opens the video.

Jeff on the video: You’re late Paul, we had to bump Matt Damon to first, I know you’re not gonna be happy about that, but we warned you Paul, we told you…â€

Someone shouts “There he is†and a group of fans swarms the limo.

Everyone is screaming and someone pushes there tits against the glass. Paul doesn’t even look up.

The limo stops and Paul gets out, someone yells “Oh my god, it’s him!â€. Paul walks the red carpet for a little, signs a few autographs. There is a very sexy girl 2 people deep, Paul sticks out his hand and grabs hers, pulling her onto the red carpet as well.

Paul: What is your name?

Jenna: Jenna

(Paul continues to walk to a door, about 20 feet away, signs another autograph, when there is another really sexy girl on the rate. Paul grabs her with his other hand.

Paul: What is your name?

Ashley: Ashley

Paul now walks (still in first person) with Ashley in one hand and Jenna in the other. He walks in the door to the studio.

Security Guard: Hello sir, your dressing room is to the right. Conan is interviewing Matt Damon now, and you’ll be on in about 7 minutes.

Paul continues walking, goes into his dressing room where he places Ashley and Jenna on the couch.

Paul: Ashley meet Jenna, Jenna meet Ashley.

Ashley: Hello

Jenna: Hello.

Paul: Make out with each other

(Both look sheepishly, obviously they don’t want to).

Paul: Do it or leave.

(Ashley and Jenna Make Out.)

Paul: Keep each other warm until I get back.

(Paul continues to walk towards the stage, where you can hear Conan interviewing Matt Damon)

Stage Manager: Christ Paul, where were you? You were supposed to be here hours ago.

Paul: It happens, I can leave if you want.

Stage Manager: No no, that’s ok. You’re on in 4 minutes, right after Matt Damon.

Paul: I’m going now.

Stage Manager: You can’t go now

Paul: I’m going

(Pushes past the manager and walks toward the stage, looks at Conan and Matt Damon, both are shocked, then he looks towards the audience who bursts into spontaneous applause and hysterics. Matt Damon moves over)

Conan: Ladies and Gentleman, we have here the author of 2 of the 5 top selling books of the decade, the top album of the last 5 years, the screenwriter of a movie which won 6 Oscars, and the creator of the personal computer. He is the richest man in the world and the genius of our time. Let me introduce to you, Paul Lauder

(Camera cuts around and shows Paul, grinning confidently.)

Paul (in his head…) How did I get here

Flash: (6 years earlier).

[afro poppa]

myles, I love ya buddy...but I want those five minutes it took to read that back

edit to add: wheres the hilarious content

Edited August 7, 2009 by Guest

[TheAlphaNerd]

It's soooo bad

[Davey Boy 2.0]

is there a short version?

executive summary?

punchline?

[TheAlphaNerd]

Short version is that this guy sent me a script starring himself, where he is the smartest most successful person in the world with tons of women throwing themselves at him.

Made me laugh when reading it...