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The Simpsons On Drugs


MarcO

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Burns: [groaning] Ohh! I need some more ether. I can still feel the movement of the emory board.

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Smithers: [checks bottle] We're fresh out, Sir. I'll get some more.

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Burns: Leave the rag.

[sniffs it] Mmm...

[smithers walks out; Homer sneaks in]

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Homer: Uh...excuse me, Mr. Burns?

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Burns: [gasps] Poppin' Fresh! You glutinous little doughboy.

[Homer morphs into Poppin' Fresh in Burns' mind]

[chuckles] There's something I've wanted to do to you for years!

[starts poking his stomach; Homer laughs]

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Homer: [getting his eyes poked at] Ow! Heh, Mr. Burns? I, er, was wondering if you'd like to sponsor my bowling team...for... $500.

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Burns: Ho ho, why, certainly, Poppin' Fresh! I owe my robust physique to your tubes of triple-bleached goo.

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Homer: Woohoo! [runs out] Hey, everybody: if you want to ask Burns for a favor, now's the time! He's doped up, or dying, or something.

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Hans: [running in] Uh, excuse me: I'd like to request $17 for a push-broom rebristling. [shows broom with no bristles on it]

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Burns: Why, it's that delightful TV leprechaun. I'm going to get your Lucky Charms. [starts a drill]

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Hans: Oh, no: my brains.

Classic...

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