snarfmaster C Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 It's not every morning that I spend cruising the bustling northern metropolis of Timmins Ontario. But last Thursday over a round of [color:"blue"] Blue at the bar at the Chimo Motel in Cochrane ON, just before The Cowboy came in to begin the evenings assault on would-be pool sharks, it was decided that the following morning I would have the pleasure of leaving fair Cochrane for the used-refrigerator haven that is the birthplace of Miss Shania Twain. Imagine my delight in learning that not only would I have the morning to acquaint myself with this town, but that the timing of my visit could not have been more fortuitous: In fact I would be in Timmins at the very time of the [color:"orange"] Shania Twain Convention . Now, as CBC North was enthusiastically and continuously informing it's listeners, approximately 70 people from all around the world were expected in Timmins for the event. Tours of the towns industries were arranged, as was a video dance party for later in the evening. I decided to take upon myself a task second only to purchasing a second-hand fridge for myself and my colleagues. This task was to answer the questions: What is a [color:"orange"] Shania Twain Convention ? and who are these 70 people that are coming to this town to attend? My morning started early. Asked if I was excited about my day, I replied honestly "Not yet". I had to be back to Cochrane with a refrigerator by 1pm. I was on the road by 7:15 arriving in Timmins at 8:30, taking note of the giant billboard with Shania's face pointing the direction to the [color:"green"] Shania Twain Centre . Enough time to find a phone booth, rip off a map and the addresses to the second-hand appliance stores in town before the stores even opened up. By this time I've nearly finished my XXL Tim H's so the humour in this endeavour is starting to come back to me. By 9:30 I had figured out where I was and could effectively interpret my map. I managed to find a couple of stores with suitable fridges and realised that they all new eachothers' prices and eachothers' deals so I bought the cheapest biggest and cleanest looking one, paid the man, and had his muscular help load it onto the truck for me. OK there was actually a lot of driving around, finding bank machines and other such details in there, but I won't bore you with that for now. The point is I got my fridge and nice strong boys helped me out. On to Shania. I head back toward the billboard and make the turn. THe anticipation at this point is starting to exist. I wonder what the fans will be wearing.... how old they will be.... will [color:"red"] Shania be there.... will anybody be there? As I pull up the driveway I pass a city bus heading out of the [color:"green"] STCentre full of people. There are fewer than 30 cars in the parking lot. THe sign on the door informs me that the mining industry tour has already finished, and that the hardcores were out for the second trip of the day to see what the forest industry was all about. Discouraged, knowing that I likely missed my chance to meet the Twainers, I entered the [color:"green"] STCentre to see if I could understand a bit of their fever. Inside: To the right tourist souvenirs. Mostly Ontario stuff. I didn't go over to check it out. To the left the Shania exhibit. I head over to check out some photos. Funny, I didn't think she was so chubby. I am giggling at the poses and costumes in the photos. Oh dear, it turns out that isn't [color:"red"]Shania - it's the Shania look-alike that comes up to the [color:"green"] STCentre for special events. I wonder if this is one of these special events and look around to see if she's here. So far just your average tourists: a family with young children and cameras, and two older couples there together. I check out the instruments on display and try playing the pedal steel with my tube of lip balm. then I move on to the pipe organ with the 8-year old winding it up for me. Beauty teamwork - so far these Shania fans aren't half bad. Beyond the pipe organ I see another area.... restricted by a turnstile. A quick look and nonchalant push reveals that I am supposed to purchase a ticket to get in, so with a slight adjustment of my step I made my way inside. oooooooooooooo-eeeeeeeee does that woman have hideous taste in clothes. imagine a football jersey. now imagine a fitted evening dress. now imagine them as one. ya. that's what I'm talking about. this is a small enough room, but it is lined with mannequins in clear display cases wearing these nasty dresses. I can't describe them all, you'd have nightmares and I would never end this post that has already gone on far too long. There are photos and posters on the walls and pillars, and booths with headphones where her videos play. I started talking with a lady from Windsor and her friend who lives in Timmins. They claimed they weren't big fans either. They were nice enough to talk to but I couldn't get out of that room fast enough. I can't remember what the song was that was playing while I was in there, but I know it wasn't 'Man, I feel Like a Woman' cause that's probably the only one I'd know (thanks only to a friend's performance the night before, after our drinks at the Chimo). Whatever it was, the music combined with the pink light reflecting off the glittered crop-top/evening gown was making me light-headed and I needed to see trees and sunlight. So what did I learn? well, I learned that Shania Twain fans are ashamed to admit their passion for Missy T at their own convention when the muscles are out on the forestry tour. Also, that only the most unstable of individuals would actually find the stuff in the [color:"green"]Shania Twain Centre to be worth spending any amount of money or time viewing. If you actually read all of that, wow. way to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shainhouse Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 I drifted in and out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Low Roller Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Please post some Shania pictures (or her look-a-like, whatever). Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snarfmaster C Posted August 10, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bONES Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 moose, you are such a heady cowgirl I learned that Shania Twain fans are ashamed to admit their passion but not George Strait fans :: it's a love without end, Amen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Low Roller Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 More. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snarfmaster C Posted August 10, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 More. find your own damn pics low roller and if you find any of that blue and white football jersey evening gown would ya post it please. thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bONES Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 More. yeah... more heady cowgirl pics! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Low Roller Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 MORE! (please) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 The girl that does tribute shows calls herself Shania Twin. That's pretty funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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