Dave Matthews shits on Chicago

[zero]

Now this is my kind of story:

Brown Town

Dave Matthews Band driver denies drenching

Tue Aug 10 2004 10:55:31 ET

The bus driver for rock star Dave Matthews called from the road Monday to say his luxury coach was not the one responsible for dousing passengers on a Chicago River tour boat with foul-smelling muck over the weekend.

CHICAGO TRIBUNE reports: Witnesses on the architectural sightseeing cruise told police they saw a long black tour bus dump liquid waste Sunday afternoon as their boat crossed under the Kinzie Street bridge.

About two-thirds of the passengers seated on the upper deck of Chicago's Little Lady were soaked with the "brownish-yellow" substance.

One witness gave Chicago police an Oregon license plate number that belongs to the 2003 Monaco Royale Coach driven by Jerry Fitzpatrick, who has been Matthews' tour bus driver for three years.

Fitzpatrick confirmed he was in Chicago with Matthews, whose band played the second of two shows at Alpine Valley in Wisconsin later that night. But the driver said he was parked in front of the Peninsula Hotel, 108 E. Superior St., when the waste rained down from the bridge several blocks away.

"There is no way I could be responsible for that," Fitzpatrick said from downstate Effingham. "I haven't emptied the tank for days. Besides, we are very cautious about how we do that sort of thing."

To bolster his case, Fitzpatrick coaxed Sgt. Paul Gardner of the Effingham Police Department to inspect the bus. He then gave Gardner his cell phone to tell a reporter that the tank was nearly full.

"One of the strangest requests I've ever had, that's for sure," Gardner said.

A publicist for the Dave Matthews Band issued a statement Monday night saying the group's management had "determined that all of the buses on our tour were parked at the time of this incident."

[zero]

Read some other good dirt about Dave liking to give golden showers and more:

Ummm...well, I don't want to get too into it since I live in his adopted "hometown", but the rumor of it came to me via some well-connected people. It seems a friend of a friend managed to hit a post-concert party. Apparently, she adored the guy. Unfortunately, he was all hands: the picture of them together is Dave drunkenly and desperately trying to stick his hands down her pants. I mean, literally, that's her souvenir. And the big joke at the party was that Dave loves pissing in girl's mouths, but the "Nancies" pretty much don't mind (hell, they stick around, don't they?)

We all just though it was a joke until we asked some of our older friends here. Turns out it's completely true. Yeeech.

this is funny so armed with my new knowledge I asked my friend about that girl who hooked up with Dave. Much to my surprise we had the following IM convo. names changed to protect the innocent

me: so that girl s****, was she a one night wonder with dave matthews or more?

miz: one night i think

miz: why?

me: i heard a rumour that he is a sex fiend and likes to urinate in chick's mouths. RUMOUR but hell he shits on chicago boat goers

miz: dave matthews ate out her ass

miz: so i wouldnt put it past him

me: get out!

me: ahahahaha

miz: true story

me: oh too funny

me: more

miz: he stopped the process and told her he had a fetish

miz: she said what is it

miz: he said i want to eat out your ass

miz: she said go for it

miz: munchy

me: hahahaha

miz: the next time he came to town she got the heisman

miz: so i have heard

me: after she let em do that, boooooooooooooooo

me: she is still so hot

miz: yes . . . i cant look at her the same . . shes dirty, spread em for anyone

me: who cares

[Thorgnor]

Did shits really slip throught the language filter?

That's the shits!!!!

[PhishyK]

sh!tty...