Hilarious cyber Sex Interactions - Somewhat Scandalous

[Deeps]

This stuff is pretty damn funny.

Someone's bothering the online and horny community. LINK

[color:red]bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.

[color:red]bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce

[color:blue]Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?

(pause)

[color:red]bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.

bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.

[color:blue]Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

[color:red]bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.

[color:red]bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.

[Guest Low Roller]

Yeah... these are classic.

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.

Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.

Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.

Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.

Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.

Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.

Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.

Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

Sarah19fca: you like that?

Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.

Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?

Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.

Sarah19fca: Peanuts?

Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.

Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?

Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.

Sarah19fca: This is stupid.

Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.

Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?

Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.

Sarah19fca: /ignore

Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.

Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

[Guest Low Roller]

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: fuck am I hard now.

[backbacon]

... sexily.

where guigsy got his signature from..

I posted about this a year ago or so. I think it's funny.

[Tooly]

i think its a damn RIOT!

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)

DirtyKate: Who are you?

bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot

bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.

DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..

bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order

DirtyKate: Haha! OK

DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.

bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?

DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!

bloodninja: Is this a delivery?

DirtyKate: Umm...Yes

DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...

bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.

**pause**

DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!

bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.

bloodninja: I'm on my way now though

**pause**

DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.

bloodninja: How did you know?

bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.

bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven

DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby

bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?

DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.

bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....

DirtyKate: What the fuck?

DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit

DirtyKate: Fuck