Who else? Premier Ralph Klein named Alberta's funniest person

[Cully]

CALGARY (CP) - From dinosaur farts to eastern creeps and bums-Albertans like to laugh at what is truly Ralph's world.

The affable, sometimes controversial Alberta premier is often the target of editorial cartoonists, who like to paint him as a likable buffoon. And apparently that's just fine in Alberta. As part of a project marking Alberta's centennial, a non-profit group called the Cheers Project Humour Language Society on Friday named Ralph Klein the funniest person in Alberta in the last 100 years.

It's not at all clear, however, that Klein means to be funny when he shoots from the lip.

As mayor of Calgary, he gained national attention by blaming "eastern bums and creeps" for being a strain on the city's resources and for an escalating crime rate.

Regarding global climate change, Klein suggested in a speech in 2002 that it was just as likely that "dinosaur farts" caused the Ice Age.

On the chances of being infected by mad cow disease, the premier once said, "You would have to eat 10 billion meals of brains, spinal cords, ganglia, eyeballs and tonsils" to get it. Then he pretty well dared the Japanese to prove him wrong.

"I would offer $5 billion to have a Japanese person to come over here and eat nothing but Alberta beef for a year and if he gets mad cow disease I would be glad to give him $5 billion - make it $10 billion Canadian," he said.

Klein also once suggested that Alberta would give "a bus ticket to Vancouver" to destitute people so they could exploit the more generous social assistance of British Columbia.

His most recent offering came during the last federal election campaign. When Klein predicted the Liberals would win another minority, deputy leader Peter MacKay suggested the only way to shut him up might be to use duct tape.

It didn't bother Klein much.

"I guess duct-tape works," he said with a grin in the final days of the campaign as signs started to point to a Conservative win.

Derek Wilken, the self-proclaimed "executive dictator" of the humour project, is among those who are glad the premier isn't duct-taped very often. Wilken said his campaign received thousands of e-mails from across Canada, and it wasn't even close.

"The runaway winner was Ralph," Wilken said. "From a kid six years old to a 90-year-old senior, (they) said the person who has given them the most humour in the past 100 years is Ralph Klein."

"As Albertans we should be proud, because not only do we have the best premier in the country but the best comic by far."

In a long list of "Klein-isms" two that stand out, said Wilken, who teaches stand-up comedy.

"He's got the dinosaur farts line and the bums and creeps line and things he's done throughout his history that are good, but for the ultimate quote you'd have to ask Ralph."

Unfortunately, the premier wasn't available Friday and a spokesman from his office seemed suspicious about the award his boss was receiving.

"I voted for him - twice," laughed Pat Desmeules, the government liaison on the humour project.

"Even when he's attacked, as anybody in the public eye is going to be, he is able to take it on the cheek and he just comes back at everybody and gives it as good as he gets."

The Alberta premier doesn't always take personal attacks with the best of humour. He flipped the finger to an environmentalist who disrupted a news conference when he was minister of environment. And he didn't see anything funny about being hit in the face with a frozen cream pie at a Calgary Stampede breakfast in 2003.

His attacker was prosecuted and sent to jail.

The 15 other nominees on the list included former Conservative leader Joe Clark, Reform Party founder Preston Manning, singers k.d. lang and Jann Arden and even legendary film actress Fay Wray. Manning, lang and former Alberta premier Bill Aberhart were distant seconds.

[Birdy]

i don't think albertans can offer too much competition for good old ralphy.

prudes.

[c-towns]

here's a comedian.

[Birdy]

ahh CHACHI! man i miss my bro.

thanks c-towns!