Warning Labels

[c-towns]

Actual label instructions on consumer products:

1. On a blanket from Taiwan -

NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -

REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY

BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -

USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink

AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray -

THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -

TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO

WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.

(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful

hemorrhoids

LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO

THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL

DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5

MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles

OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -

WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer -

DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos -

YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.

DETAILS INSIDE.

12. On a bar of Dial soap -

DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)-

DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -

PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

15. On a Korean kitchen knife -

WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -

FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

17. On a Japanese food processor -

NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -

WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts

INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

20. On a Swedish chainsaw -

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS.

21. On a child's superman costume -

WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

22. On some frozen dinners

SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box

FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron

DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine

DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

26. On Nytol sleep aid

WARNING MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

[paisley]

quote:

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Originally posted by c-towns:

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine

DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

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I ended up at some of those parties back in Sault Ste Marie