Magnum

Magnum in full effect on the loos shakin' my nicely tanned caboose! You know it!

Maybe we should start a suppoet group Lazlo.

you know...when i was in nyc in the summer of 2000 i attended a taping of letterman, and you were a guest! along with the stripper chick from some summer reality show who'd just been kicked off.

you were hot magnum. but i think i saw tanlines.

Ah Ha! Caught you looking at Magnum's hot bod. I knew it still held power over the ladies.

How hard were you lookin' for my tan lines?

Magnum is flattered that you dream about his tan-lines and crane your neck to see them on a soundstage hundreads of meters away.

You're one of the good ones.

:blush:

Thanks for the good vibes and info Alexis.

Oh and by the way don't worry about bustin' Magnum's balls....You'd need a wreckin' ball baby.

They're like nicely tanned cantalopes, which ripen in the Maui sun.

You know Magnum ain't got no tan lines!

hey magnum, i didn't see you out at soulive working your short shorts big package groove thang, but it occured to me at that show that the thing you need to pick up a TO lady is........

a button down shirt...with long sleeves, and preferably a verticle stripe that isn't too wide.

I think that's what it takes these days. and i know you want to show off your big packageness, but don't tuck it in.

Ok. Ok.. Listen I gotta fessup. I was a t Soulive,and I was shakin' my caboose, but I was in disguise. I was dressed as a disgruntled jam-band/electronic music kid. I figured it would be easier to hunt my T-dot/female prey if I blended in.

If I just rolled in package swingin', chest exposed and cocktails spillin' I would have stuck out like a sore thumb. Far too tropical.

Besides you're right, women in this town want the known, average, common or as you suggested, Old Navy Striped shirt wearin' dudes.

Well ALexis that's not Magnum's style. I'm a true original. All you t-dot hunnies are missing out!

Maybe I'll see you at the Gypsy this Friday....In deep cover..

Magnum out!

Hmmmm... This looks like it'll be dancefloor-terrificalicious.

I'll be at the Gypsy bustin' loose and shakin' the caboose! But this time I'm going undercover. That's right Magnum is going in deep cover. I'll be disguised as a disgruntled Toronto jam-band/electronic hippie type. That way I'll blend in an be able to stalk my prey.

Watch out! The ladies will never see ol' Magnum coming!

[color:red]P.S. You like my album. I recorded it after I got back from 'Nam and was into the whole Asia/Journey arena rock thing. I think I'm gonna have Higgins paint it on the van.

This link dosen't work any more and I want to know what's up.

OK. I just wanted to say thanks to all, form the bottom of my tropical P.I. heart, for all the suggestion to help me get out of my dating/booty slump.

So, this weekend I'm gassing up the Ferrari, putting on tight jeans that will lower my sperm count, and heading to T.O. for Soulive at the ELmocambo. Then look out 'cause Magnum's gonna get his grind on! [color:red]No hot mama will be safe!

Yeah...there not bad. Me and TC saw them once at the Mod club. The set is tight, but there is no jam and very little improvisation to speak of. So if your looking for a solid hip-hop act it's what you want. If you're looking for improvisation...keep lookin'

You're welcome out a the Robin's Nest anytime!

Maybe your problem is that Higgins always comes off as a fruitcake, and by strutting your bare-chested and heavily-endowed self next to him you're seen as the Chain to his Ball?

[color:red]Gadzooks! Maybe that's the problem..next time we're out in Toronto I'm going to insist he bring Agatha. I'll make sure that stuffy old tart is pawing all over him. That way the ladies will know what's, what and that the Magnum is available! Thanks for the tip.

Me and TC & the crew fromt he Robin's nest will be there fo' sure!

Magnum's gonna cut a rug! Feets don't fail me now!

You know what PDSP, you are so right. I gotta stop whinning and moping and get out there and do what I do best.

Bear my prize winning chest, drive Robin Master's Ferrari, Talk my problems out, in my head, in my deep, macho narritve voice and swindle TC into taking me for free helicopter rides.

Watch out ladies Magnum's back and on the loose! Mustache rides for all (well maybe not all..but certainly some if you meet the weight restriction)

I wonder if Jimmy Milbury, Esq could give Magnum some tips.

Who's that? Can he help a P.I. fromthe 80's get over in the new millenium?

The worst (or best) part is that everytime I read Magnum's posts I really hear Magnum's voice. Scary

[color:blue]Maybe that's the key...I gotta stop thinkin' so much and wisper my deep-sexified narrtive-drawl in these hunnie's ears. Although now that I say it, it sounds like a creeper manouver.

Maybe going for the "Joey Lawrence" look might help. Girls like that boyish dofus routine..

also works for this Joey

My advice is to keep your stick on the ice.

Oh I see, you mean the women around here go for the labotamy/semi-retarded clean cut thing. So you're saying if I act brain dead, roll up the sleeves on my t-shirts and use a tonne of productin my hair, I'll get hit on in this town?

(but then again even if you get hit on in Toronto, it doesn't mean they dig you. It just means you get the privelage of talking to them.)

Fuck it! I'm staying in Hawaii for a while where, when people actually give you signals they're digging you and you act on it, it actually goes somewhere.

More poi, lays, tanned asses and cold beer....where are my Jimmy Buffett albums....I'll put those on Jimmy understands me!

The Tdot ladies go for culture, Magnum (as Livingstoned has so eloquently illustrated). Now's your chance: Free Ticket to VAGICULAR traffic

Culture...I've got that in spades. I'm from Hawaii, I know polyneisan style and cooking. I'm very well travelled (I used to be in the navy). I'm honorable, I served my country in Vietnam and everything.

Ohh...... I don't know meeting the right female counterpart to my P.I. bravado, seems so daunting.

I think I'm going to head back to TC's and smoke some more of that killer weed and get drunk on Miller lite. Fuck it!

Magnum thanks you Large Marge. Good lookin' out! Now all I have to do is find the lady to take to this high culture event. (that's the hard part!)

I think I need to go and swim some laps on the beack an contemplate my inner turmoil. Either that or hit the disco on Maui with Rick. That guy always has a date!

i wonder what's wrong with her finger....i wonder if the girl who's dry humping her from behind lovin the camera had anything to do with it. she looks like the type to have extraordinary vagicular muscles.

magnum, doesn't it look like she's looking right at you? calling out? her friend's already taken, and with a f'd up finger to boot. you gotta figure out how to hit that shit.

Oh I know, I know..It's all magnum you're a studly Hawaiin P.I. just go up an hit that shit. The ladies are bound to fall for your coiffed mustache and elephant sized package, but it's not that easy.

You know although I may wear kaki nut-huggers like no other and surf-ski with the best of them, Magnum is still afraid, just like everyone.

If only all the ladies that were interested in the Magnum, stared me down, like this one in the picture with the extraordinary vagicular muscles, maybe then I'd know to make a move, but in the t-dot it seems even if a gal stares you down and chats you up it don't mean shit! So confusing!

And besides Magum's no wing man!

[color:red]I'm going to get blasted with TC and smoke some Maui Wowie. Magnum's sad...

So I ask you Toronto jam-band women...What makes you tick' date=' what do you want to hear from a dude you might dig...what turns your crank? What does a sucessful tropical crime fighter like me (or anyone else for that matter, [i']except Kojack he's a bitch.) have to do to get one of my perfectly tanned feet in the proverbal door.

It's tough to be a man baby!

just introduce yourself then say - hey wanna make out? That does it for me everytime!

Magnum is humbled by your game.

Hi y'all, Magnum here:

I have been frequenting the Toronto scene quite a bit, with TC and the crew from the Robin's nest in Hawaii. I'm Lovin' the vibe, even if there aren't egnough Hawaiin shirts for my tastes....

Anyways, I was talking to Rick the other day and we agree that the women in Toronto are of another breed. What I mean is in Hawaii all I'll have to do back home is, bear the chest, order some pina coladas, give 'em lay maybe put on some Burt Bacharach albums (the flower necklace thingy) and BAM...Magnum is on his way to charning the pants (literally and figuratively) off some sweet lucky lady.

However, since I've been haningin' in the T-dot, my polynesian-hawaiian p.i.-beach bum-studly short,short-mack game ain't working. Magnum has been spening some lonely nights watching re-runs of Charlie's Angles and thinkin' what if?... Seems the Toronto ladies, while smart, stylish and sexy are an exceedingly complicated bunch.

So I ask you Toronto jam-band women...What makes you tick, what do you want to hear from a dude you might dig...what turns your crank? What does a sucessful tropical crime fighter like me (or anyone else for that matter, except Kojack he's a bitch.) have to do to get one of my perfectly tanned feet in the proverbal door.

My inquiring moustached mind wants to know.

[color:red]Maybe I should just go ask AJ from Simon & Simon. The ladies love that guy.

It's tough to be a man baby!

I really enjoyed the Brother's Past, The Chameleon Project and the whole vibe. Rick and TC enjoyed it as well, although Higgins was unimpressed. Higgins is a hater anyways and only really likes classical.

See you at the next event, I'll be the one with the manly chest and imtimating tan!

BTW - there's an east-end afternoon pre-show BBQ in the works... PM me for deets.

Cheers!

And the after party is in Magnum's hammock. But an invitation is required!

The Elmo is a classic venue which has played host to some of the greatest muscians like:

Stevie Ray Vaughn

Muddy Waters

The Rolling Stones

Elvis Costello

Supertramp

and many others...

see you there. I'll be in the short shorts and hawaiin shirt!

Hey Jaydawg,

Nice Avatar! Looks like you're ready to go surfski hunting with me and Higgins out a the Robin's Nest.

Nice Speedo's, but don't think Magnum is intimidated. You know I'm packin'!