Poem for the "Friend Zone"

[Magnum]

[color:orange]Found this poem on line ...really funny and kinda follows up my "Can me and women be friends post" don't get caught in "the zone". Eject! Eject! Eject!

----------------------------------------

The Friend Zone Poem

This column was posted on Tuesday, March 16th, 2004.

Streeter Seidell

I met her on a fine winter day

in the hallowed halls of education.

With a grace to her step, in my dreams she did play

as fixture of my masturbation.

As time went by, so the story goes,

things began to blossom.

But this budding love which I chose,

its death I was to hasten.

It could have been my friendly nature

that blew my chances quick.

Or it may have been her weak composure;

The thought of my naked body making her sick.

I knew not how deep this feeling ran

and if I did, I would have cried

She seemed to be my biggest fan

so, for a relationship, I tried and tried.

It might have been fate, karma or destiny

coming back to bite.

But this girl had got the best of me

and I knew something wasn’t right.

It all seemed too good

for a guy like me.

So, after movies,

Streeter's Recent Articles:

Make A Statement With Beer

People You Hate XXXIII

CollegeHumor Interview with Jenna Dewan

Baby, You're So Good To Me

Your Winter Break

See All

drinks and food

I figured I would see.

As I leaned in for a kiss

underneath the moon, big and red

I saw her jump and heard her hiss

“What the hell are you doing?â€she said.

“I want a kiss, I was thinking,

under this moon, big and red.â€

She looked at me as if I had been drinking

and this is what she said.

“How do I put this?

I don’t know what to say.

I never thought you wanted to kiss

Because I thought that you were gay

I guess I was wrong

But that doesn’t change the fact

That I don’t want your dong

Coming anywhere near my snatch.

I just wanted a friend

And not a relationship.

Someone to love me till the end

But not to touch my tits.

Plus, I like your friend Matt

Do you think you could hook me up?

He’s smart and sexy and not fat.

He’s the guy I want to fuck.

I didn’t want to hurt you

But that’s the way it goes.

If I was on a desert island and you were there too

Then I guess…who knows?

This isn’t how I

Wanted this amazing night to end.

But if it’s a relationship you wanted (sigh)

I’ll always be your friend.â€

It was not by choice I played my cards

The stupid way I did.

I suppose that it’s just hard

For a funny, ugly kid.

So, for all of you with romance on your mind,

make sure it’s plain and known,

that the worst fate you should find

is trapped here in the friend zone.

for Heather

Edited January 26, 2006 by Guest

[Calamity Jane]

I guess I was wrong

But that doesn’t change the fact

That I don’t want your dong

Coming anywhere near my snatch.

my fav lines. Suppose he used a rhyming dictionary for that?

heeheehee